Joines' Table Talk

honest rebellion

2010-01-29T04:59:00.000-08:00

The day, the hour, the minute arrived unexpectedly. She awoke with a declaration: quiet, but booming within her. Something about potty, bathroom, and diaper sandwiched among an assortment of words spoken to quickly and slurred to be understood, even by her mother. She'd spoken them before, but her words were overshadowed by a parent's, to be precise, my preoccupations.

This morning was different. There was something...sure, confident, bittersweet. Memories yet to be had, yet to be missed. I envision years down the road. A young girl with helmet in hand, open asphalt, pursuing an open horizon, firmly grasped to the handles of a new bike. A soon-to-be teenager boldly requesting privacy as she talks fashion and movies excitedly with her best friend. Or the days of learning permits, shaking hands, and an occasional nervous jerk of the wheel. This morning was different.

She had clear intentions, or as much as can be built up in the mind of a toddler. She had a glow of determination, so I thought, gleaming from her curious and inquisitive stare, anxiously awaiting her mother's response and approval. Well it certainly wasn't jotted down in my planner; life is too hectic for potty training. But I guess the inevitable chases us down. An array of articles, parenting manuals, and noisy women all swirling in my head, telling me what to do. The pediatric nurse in me questioning her physical readiness: urinary retention, muscle, and nerve sensations.

A million thoughts and a quick second later, "Let's go to the potty!"

I reflect back, a mere 48 hours later. Frustrated just a little, tired beyond description, analyzing pointlessly. A mother letting out sighs filled with too many emotions to list.

A milestone, surely a monumental feat in the life of an Elmo-loving child. Not even the squeaky voice exiting the furry creature can persuade her to complete what we set out to do. A porcelain white throne, a stubborn princess. Admittedly, it must truly be a challenging and arduous task. Cold, hard glass-like substance against the back of her legs. Stage fright, also a new quest to conquer. Mom and dad cheering, clapping, dancing the potty dance annoyingly. Too much too soon, I guess.

She is sensitive, careful, shy. Lovely attributes for a lovely child. I am not ashamed; I smile proudly, but quietly I applaud her valiant efforts. I am encouraged by her initiative, but she teaches her perfectionist mother so much more. When to stop, when to say "no, I'm not quite ready", when to know your limits. At the end of the day, she shook her head, not out of rebellion, not for control, but in honesty to her self. And I wholeheartedly believe her.

A mother smiles contently; another day, another hour, another moment when my little girl never ceases to amaze.

Third Time with Santa

2009-12-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

The first year was a breeze. Josie was a couple months old and slept through the whole thing. Last year wasn't as good, Boompa dressed up as Santa and Josie wasn't a huge fan.

This year we showed up right as Santa was leaving for dinner. So we made a quick detour to Toys R Us and returned to a lengthy line. The next hour and a half went very well. We snacked on Chik-fil-A, gave Belle a bottle, and watched the kid in front of us hit the girl behind us. When we got to the front of the line, one of the elves performed some simple illusions and then it was our turn. Things started off good with a high five to the big guy. Then things went south when Josie realized she would have to sit with the big, bearded man. Even with Mama, Josie wasn't having it. Finally, after a surprise Elmo appearance, things calmed down. The people were nice enough to allow us to have both pictures.

Sprinkled in Presbyterianism

2009-11-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

*The original title was "Immersed in Presbyterianism," but since Presbyterians don't immerse-they sprinkle, I decided to change it*

We have been in Charlotte for a couple months now and the transition has been much more difficult than we thought. It took us longer for Dolly to find work than we thought, we didn't end up at the church we initially thought we would, and our best friends are moving back to their hometown. However, in the midst of all of this transition, frustration, tears, and hardship we have experienced such an overwhelming amount of love and support from family, friends, and our church. So here is a little update à la Presbyterianism ;)

School

As all, well the two of you who read this blog, know I am attending Reformed Theological Seminary. Although RTS is a non-denominational seminary, it is dedicated to training current and future leaders (especially in its Presbyterian and Reformed branches) to be pastors, missionaries, educators, and Christian counselors. All of my professors are affiliated with a presbyterian denomination. The environment is thoroughly academic, practical, and pastoral. I definitely think this will help cultivate me to become a competent minister of the Gospel. Overall, school is going very well. Although demanding, it isn't detracting from my family and marriage but I am still maintaining very good grades. I usually do all my studying and reading in the living room/dining room (its the same room) to intentionally be interrupted by my cute, curly-haired girls, they are all so cute and I love being interrupted by them.

Church

In addition to learning about Presbyterianism, we just (yesterday) became members at Grace Community Church, a Presbyterian Church located in South Charlotte. It doesn't have the characteristics of most traditional Presbyterian Churches. It meets in a high school, has more "contemporary" worship (which we don't care too much for, we prefer the crusty 'ol hymns), has amazing preaching, and has more vitality than a some of the other Presbyterian churches we visited. We have meet so many great families who have invited us over for Sunday brunch, who have had playdates with our girls, and have made us feel at home and like family at the church. Although we miss our families so much, Grace has made the transition even easier. Now that we are members at Grace, we plan on getting our girls baptized soon (most of the church's we have been a part of have never practiced infant baptism, but Presbyterians do). In addition, one of the Pastor's owns a really nice town-home in Blakeney Greens, which we will be renting until I have completed my schooling. We look forward to living somewhere again where we can walk to get all of our errands done.

Work

Dolly got two part-time jobs. So she will be working three nights a week when she is completed with orientation (which is currently full-time, but thankfully we are able to work it around my school schedule, and some students at RTS have helped us out when it does conflict). One of the jobs is at Carolina's Medical Center, and the other is at Presbyterian. They are both at the Children's Hospitals (Levine's and Hemby), which is an answer to prayer since Dolly has such a passion for providing care to the young'ens. So I will watch the girls in the morning/early afternoon when Dolly is sleeping and have been watching them in the day while Dolly is at orientation. I have found that changing diapers is a great cure for pride and compliments a seminary education well. I just learned these great theological truths, but I need to work on our circle/square/star/color flashcards with an adorable toddler after I change some diapers.

Although moving out here to Charlotte is difficult and looks nothing like we thought (e.g. Bugs that could probably take Josie away in her sleep), it has been an amazing blessing. It has provided such an amazing opportunity for us to connect as a family and experience God's grace and love through His church. To truly learn what it means to trust Him.

Additionally, Fall (my favorite season) has been absolutely gorgeous here. The trees are blazing orange, yellow, and red, while the weather has been awesome (a balmy, 70 degrees).

Finally, we would ask for your continued prayers. This has been the most difficult thing we have done in our family. We are learning what it means to be dependent upon God, to love our family, and trust Him daily.

Happy 2nd Birthday Josie!

2009-10-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

Josies Second Year from Greg and Dolly on Vimeo.

Our daughter, Josephine Leigh, turned 2 years old on October 4th! My how these couple of years flew by! Please help celebrate her second year by spending 12 minutes to watch yet another Joines' family montage. Hope you all enjoy watching her (and her hair) grow up right before your eyes!

(sorry about the audio skipping. We're using Windows Movie Maker this year...and let's just say it's not up to par with IMovie)

Update - We have uploaded the video via vimeo...so hopefully now you can all enjoy it!

Hello Charlotte

2009-09-10T05:09:00.000-07:00

I (Dolly) have officially been in Charlotte, NC for a month now, so I thought I'd finally post an update on how our family is doing here in the South.

The city of Charlotte is beautiful! It's been hot/humid, but bearable. The only traffic I've seen is on Sunday morning when every church is packed (and literally, there is a church on every street block...and they are big churches!) People are really friendly every where we go, and they are all obsessed with babies! Maribelle is always the topic of every conversation I encounter with a stranger. I've got to be careful though because strangers think they are allowed to touch my baby at any chance they get...flu season is right around the corner! The street system is insane here; the same stretch of road changes names 4 times in about 5 miles! It really is bizarre! Also, Greg and I got our first taste of American history by attending a Revolutionary War renactment. It was as exciting as it sounds. Josie was less impressed, except for the farm animals that were present for the ambiance.

Maribelle is 2 1/2 months old now, and she is such a good baby! She has the biggest crooked smile that brings tears to my eyes. She is so kind...she let's me sleep through the night! Josie will be 2 years old on October 4th. She is a good talker, and she loves to play outside in the parking lot next to our townhome (don't worry, it's always empty and at the end of the apartment complex). She swam for the first time, but is still not that adventurous in the water. However, she does like to point out and kill the bugs that get into the house. The bugs are terribly gross here! We saw a 2-inch long roach crawl across our stove one night! (We are clean people, apparently these ones aren't associated with filth...but I'm still cleaning/vacuuming every night just in case they are searching for crumbs). As Greg says, "the only good bug, is a dead bug"(Starship Troopers seems to have become our living guide to killing bugs).

Greg has been attending Reformed Theological Seminary for the past 4 weeks, and he is really enjoying it so far. Hebrew is a pretty tough language to learn apparently, so he seems to always have his flash cards where ever we go! He is thankful to finally be at the place where God has been leading him these past few years! Greg knows the education will be a good preparation to plant/replant a church here in the South. The girls and I are adjusting to his new schedule, but our family has definitely changed its routines a bit to accommodate for his studying time.

I have been applying for jobs since early July and have found this process to be very frustrating! As a pediatric nurse at one of the best children's hospitals in the US, I thought getting a job would be easy...but apparently it's not. The process has been long and difficult. I hope to find out some news by the end of the week on a job I applied/interviewed for at the large children's hospital here in Charlotte. The issue of work has been a challenging one for us, as it is forcing us to put aside our pride and humbly bow before God in complete dependence. We know he will provide for our family, because he promises to do so in his Word, but it is a scary place to be since we are running out of the extra money we came with. Sometimes the reality of our problems are more real than He is...and this has been a hard lesson to learn as it forces me to see how I lack faith or fail to practice the faith I say I have. I say I trust Him and his promises, but do I really if I react in anxiety, fear, and worry?

We have not found a church home yet. We aren't much into church shopping, so we tried to decide on a church while we were in Seattle, but you can only do so much research online, and then you have to experience the church for yourself. We may have found one, but are still praying for guidance as we decide. It has been difficult to adjust without a close church community to support and encourage us. We have been praying that the Lord leads us to the right community for us to be a part of.

One of the most difficult parts about moving here to Charlotte has been the distance we are from our families in North Bend. We miss our parents terribly and wish they could see their grandchildren as frequently as they were able to when we lived in Seattle. I keep showing Josie pictures of her grandparents to keep them fresh in her mind. I miss meeting my mom for lunch during the week when we would discuss food over eating food : )

So to be completely honest...this move is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. My heart is heavy and burdened by many changes, and I feel that the Lord is ripping me out of the stagnant state I was in for so long. I have learned more about my heart, idols, and sin in the past few weeks than I have in the past two years. More importantly, I have learned more about Him as I am being stripped of all of the things I trust in (jobs, security, savings, quality time with my husband, etc.) The Lord is definitely refining our hearts, probably preparing us for a difficult couple of years as Greg finishes his Masters while I work full-time...all the while we remain full-time parents! We pray for help as we prioritize our lives...because our marriage and children are never to be placed after seminary or work. We continue to pray for his guidance as we live our lives in light of his Word.

Please pray for our family as we struggle to trust in him during this difficult time of transition. Furthermore, please pray that we continue to live in joy and rest in our relationship with God, eachother, our children, and our community. We miss you all very much and await the time to visit you all again next year.

Goodbye Seattle

2009-08-05T15:11:00.001-07:00

I moved to Seattle 10 years ago, almost to the date. In 10 years I have experienced several dramatic life changes: I came to know my Lord and Savior, got married, graduated from college, started my first job as a pediatric nurse, and had two wonderful baby girls! It's been a crazy time with tons of life lessons, but it has truly been a blessed time.

So here's the story for all who don't know. In February 2007, Greg and I planned to move to Charlotte, North Carolina so that he could receive his masters from Reformed Theological Seminary. We found out we were pregnant with Josie, and after much time in prayer, decided it was the Lord's will to have us wait. Over the past two years we thought that Mars Hill was home, but over the past six months, he made it clear to us that we were to finally make our trek to Charlotte. He has also refined his calling in Greg, and now we know that Greg is to church plant in a city filled with the "churched-unsaved" (those with a knowledge of the Bible, but not of a saving faith in Christ and the Gospel). And so after months of preparation (and organizing closets!), we now have a Budget truck in our apartment parking lot, ready to be loaded in the morning by some helpful men from the church. Greg leaves on Thursday morning for a cross-country journey of a lifetime! I leave via plane on August 19th with my 4 week old daughter strapped to me and a lively toddler holding my hand (thankfully, Grandma will be sharing the journey to offer another pair of hands).

We feel excited, scared, energized, overwhelmed...and any other emotion you can tie to the situation. We are experiencing several marriage stressors all at the same time: moving across country, adjusting to a second child, starting graduate school, finding a new church home and community, possibly buying a home by the end of the year, and starting new jobs. We'll be able to check quite a few boxes on our taxes in April : )

The Lord has shown himself to be faithful through this all. He has taught me what it means to have complete confidence in his sovereignty. I have numerous examples, but not enough time to list them all. I'll have to talk about them in a later post that describes this crazy adventure!

One of the major lessons Greg and I have learned in recent weeks is that of the love that is manifested in the body of Christ. Mars Hill Church has been our church home for 5 years, and we have definitely had our ups and downs, as with any relationship. However, a new side of the church has been revealed to us. We have had complete strangers reach out to us asking if they could provide a meal or childcare to help us pack. We have had an entire community group bless us with a generous and astonishing financial gift. We have seen people sacrifice their time and money to bless our family and to affirm our calling to church plant in one of the most churched areas of our country to reach those who are unsaved. I can't fully explain how overwhelmed we are at the kindness that has been extended to our family. We are convicted over how we have missed opportunities to grow closer in relationship to those around us, I especially, have distanced myself by choosing not to take advantage of the opportunities of friendship that have been given to me. We also would not naturally reach out to strangers unless it was conveniently placed in front of us. As future church planters, these are crucial lessons the Lord needed to teach us, and he chose to do so through a cross-country move that placed our family in an overwhelming situation. We are truly thankful for his blessings upon our family, and how he revealed himself through his church on numerous occasions. I could write forever describing these recent experiences, and I know I am not truly giving justice to the way I feel right now. I hope to expound later, but for now we must go to bed to prepare for a long and exciting day ahead! Please continue to pray for our family as we venture out, that we would be looking to Christ for guidance, that we would let his glory be the motivating factor for all we do, and that we would take this experience and spread the Gospel through it. We love you all and will miss Seattle dearly. Thank you.

Belle's First Two Weeks

2009-07-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Our little Maribelle was born two weeks ago, so I thought I'd give everyone an update on how life has been for our family of four. After a busy few days of introducing her to family, we returned home to a busy week of packing for our cross-country move! However, we have received many blessings in the form of dinners, and I could not be more thankful for our church community! Complete strangers have emailed and called asking how they can be of service to our family! Mars Hill has some of the kindest women I have ever met! The grace and love of Christ is truly being revealed through this kindness and acts of service.

As far as parenting goes...Belle has been an "easy" baby so far, and Josie is adjusting well to having a little sister. I feel fully recovered from the pregnancy, even having a "post-nesting" period full of adrenaline as I pack and organize to move to North Carolina in 2 weeks. Belle is sleeping great and is requiring me to wake her up at night to feed! Right now she is sleeping four hour long stretches at night! Josie is sometimes too helpful (i.e. trying to give her sister juice through a sippy cup), but she giggles and squeals in response to Belle's hiccups and burps. She is a little weirded out at me breastfeeding, but it is getting better. She has a hard time understanding that I can't move around while I'm breastfeeding, but who knows maybe I can master that skill soon : ) Greg is beyond supportive during all of this change. He helps me with the girls in the morning in case I need to sleep in a little. He's also helping with cloth diaper changes! I couldn't be more thankful to my husband during this time. He understands his role of husband and loves me very well.

So above all, I'm thankful for the Lord who is continuing to teach me more about his love and grace and how he proves time and time again that he is ever sufficient and providential. Having a newborn and making the biggest move of my life all at the same time may seem overwhelming (and it is!), but he has made everything work out well. I'm learning how to have faith in a stressful time, and I've also discovered I have made an idol of the future by worrying about everything. Oh how he teaches me more and more about my heart through every daily experience. I'll keep everyone updated as the move gets closer. For now, please enjoy some pictures of our Belle!

IT'S A GIRL!

2009-07-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

Maribelle Mae Joines was born this evening, July 16, 2009 (on her due date)! She weighed 7lbs 11 oz, 19.5 inches long. After 4 hours of labor, we met our little girl at 8:14 pm. The delivery and labor went well. The Lord blessed us with a short, natural, and injure-free birth! "Belle" has already met her grandparents, aunts, and her big sister! Josie was so sweet to her, she even said "Hi Belle" when we introduced them! I'll update soon, but for now...we're all going to rest awhile after a busy, but blessed day. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!

Hospitality (Meals)

2009-06-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

hos·pi·tal·i·ty (häs-pə-ˈta-lə-tē)
1 a: given to generous and cordial reception of guests b: promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome c: offering a pleasant or sustaining environment

I have recently been challenged to think through what hospitality is, how it should look, how it breeds community, and the purpose behind it. One of the best things I have read on it is a post by Jeff Vanderstelt. This will probably be a various part blog series.

Meals are one of the main components of gospel hospitality, providing the opportunity to engage, edify, encourage, and enjoy those around you (alliteration is unintentional though appreciated). It is interesting that one aspect of Jesus' ministry was eating with people. Ministry can be as simple as a meal. Commentator Mark Horne says,

...Jesus was simply doing his ministry, by eating and drinking with sinners, what he had been doing as the Angel of the Lord since the beginning. Why did Yahweh ("the Lord") rescue Isrealites from Egypt? What did Moses tell Pharoah? "Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Let my people go, that they may hold a feast to me in the wilderness." (Ex. 5.1) God wanted table fellowshp with Isreal.(60)

Jesus' meals communicate the gospel; it was where sinners, the tax collectors, the religious, the moral, and the immoral could all enjoy Jesus, and where he enjoyed them. Mark Horne observes that, "[Jesus] enjoyed his food and his wine (cf. Lk 7.34), but he enjoyed most of all the company of other people around the dinner table" (58).When I look at the importance of meals throughout Scripture, I realize the redemptive import of them. The first sin occurred over a meal, the Exodus is over a meal, the passover is remembered as a meal, the manna in the wilderness, Jesus' ministry of meals, Peter eating with Cornelius, Paul rebuking Peter for withdrawing table fellowship with Gentiles, etc.

Although it is easy to get sucked into a Martha attitude with regard to meal planning, preparation, and decor, we must never let the food of the meal obscure the gospel the meal is meant to communicate. The food is only to help communicate it. If there is strife in the meal or the hospitality, it also can communicate a false picture of the gospel. This is why Proverbs states;

Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. (Prov 17.1)

Although it isn't always reasonable to feast as much as we would like with others, there is still the opportunity to provide gospel hospitality with meals. This means that real gospel hospitality can occur over Ritz crackers in a dorm room, over cedar-planked salmon in a dinning room, or over Puerco Pibil anytime and anywhere. These are just some of my initial thoughts, and will clean this up and post some more, especially on what the Lord's Supper means in light of this (d.v.), but here are some other links that can help you in coordinating gospel hospitality meals...

How to Organize and Host a Frugal Block Party

On Hosting a Dinner Party

Waiting Impatiently

2009-05-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

"Obstetrics"
by Suzanne Clark

Tomorrow they will tell me what I know.
After tools and taps they will talk in facts
of mystery, of the flame in so dark
a place you want to look and see God
shaping the hands and face.
They will call it by other names
but I will be hearing
blood and bones sliding in place
to music steep as stars.

I am in a dream
while the doctor feels clay
and schedules birth on a chart unreal.
As the earthen womb sings,
making its pearl,
I allow everything:
quake of birth that will leave the poem
of dust in my mouth."

The Lord has blessed us with a second child, who remains an active, feisty little thing within my belly. We have 7 weeks to go, but are thinking it might decide to see the world a little sooner. I am grateful that this pregnancy has been uncomplicated compared to my first pregnancy with Josie. Last weekend Greg and I went into the hospital for some progressing, early contractions. Besides being placed on "modified" bedrest for a week, this pregnancy is healthy and well.

I've been using the time to read and rest, since I've been unable to work. I just finished reading "Sketches of Home" by Suzanne Clark. It is a collection of poetic essays that she has written over the course of many years. I highly recommend it! Besides her poem I added above, I thought I'd share one section pertinent to my present situation.

"Weeks and months pass. The queen turns into an elephant. There are new mysteries. How to eat crackers in church without anyone noticing because the "baby" has to eat. How to get past people in a crowd without knocking them over with your belly. How to fall asleep on your back when you are a stomach person. How to put out heartburn. How to keep from crying when your husband blinks the wrong way.
I lie in bed on my back for hours studying my bald mountain of a stomach. Who are you? Under that tight skin lives an impossible child whose legs and arms both flutter and punch, whose ears absorb every word I speak, and whose heart, I am sure, senses my two-edged love, fierce and tender."

- Suzanne Clark

I smiled while reading this as I seem to be living it every moment right now. I tried to slip past Greg in the kitchen and just about toppled over after I lost my balance when my belly hit the counter. I guess I underestimated the size of a watermelon. I should also mention that Greg got pushed into the hot stove, but the fact I almost fell over is more important : ) Also I'm a stomach sleeper, so nights have been a hopeless quest for the "right" position, not to mention the heartburn attacks during the night too often these days. I hope this brings smiles to many of you as you think about your own pregnancies or future ones. It is a blessed time despite feeling that I have no control over my body (or emotions).

I can't wait to introduce you all to our little baby boy or girl! For now this ultrasound picture will have to do. Please continue to pray for our child to stay in place at least a few more weeks! We'll keep everyone updated!

This picture was taken 3 months ago by the way! They said you can't tell the gender from this picture, so if you look hard enough and think you know what it is...don't tell us!

An adventure of epic proportions: cloth diapers

2009-05-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

www.sweetdollbaby.com

Over the past few months I have been studying Proverbs and how the book as a whole relates to the Proverbs 31 woman. I'll blog later on some interesting parallels I've found throughout the book, but for now I'm heading in a different direction. Now that my women's group is studying the 31st chapter, I've really been thinking about the theological and practical applications that relate to me as a mother and wife. Practically, I've started to wake up earlier than Josie, so as to not create so much stress in the morning, and I've been rethinking my method of meal planning (which I haven't had much success at since I started 6 months ago). My intentions are to create a more peaceful and efficient home by being wise in how I use my time and resources. I keep praying for wisdom in knowing how to go about these changes without overwhelming myself. So, needless to say, that's how I started my commitment to switching over to cloth diapers. The thought has been in my mind for several months, but the desire to change the method of cleaning up after my toddler became stronger over the past 4 weeks. So here's my story:

Initial thoughts: I love disposables! They're convenient, quick, and simple. A little expensive though, since cheap diapers (i.e. walmart and target brand) made Josie break out in allergic reaction. Costco has been wonderful in helping us cut costs. I'm not a "green" person, per se, so the environmental debate isn't a big factor for me (Although I must admit, this week I've realized just how much Josie adds to the landfills). But with our family adding a new addition and needing to trim monthly budget for our move (and future costs of seminary), my price comparison chart indicated cloth diapers were more cost efficient....so we switched.

Preparation: 15-20 hours of research. Cloth diapers are complicated! There are several different types of cloth diapering "systems", all with different pros and cons! (examples: All-in-ones, pocket diapers, prefolds with cover, flat diapers with covers...I'm sure there's more). What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another! And some people use combinations of the different systems! In addition, you can only use specific detergents, so as to not leave residue that repels liquid. I also found that initial costs of getting the cloth diapers are expensive! Some diapers are close to $20 a piece! So I bid (for the first time!) on ebay and got some sweetdollbaby one-size, pocket diapers for $160 (about $7 a piece). That was after another price comparison chart I created and reading extensive reviews (about 80% were positive...and the negatives seemed fixable from what I could tell). So after waiting impatiently for them to arrive, I took 1/2 out of the box and washed them a few times excitedly...carefully line drying them in front of a heater.

Jumping in: I couldn't figure out how to make all the snaps adjust to Josie's size! She's so tall and skinny! Finally, I decided on a trial and error approach. Starting with a large size and 2 inserts, we went out and ran errands. 5 hours later....no leaks! Yay! That night we tried again....crazy leakage the next morning plus a heavy smell of urine on my poor girl's skin = bath. Over the past week we've gone through size adjustments and insert adjustments (1-3 at a time), but we have still had quite a few leaks. When I say leak...I really mean leak (i.e needing a bath). Night times have been horrendous, but I finally made one diaper last 15 hours overnight for my heavy sleeper and wetter. Here's a picture:

And a close up:
Greg and I were laughing hysterically at the sight...we started to crave Burger King after thinking about the spongebob squarepants commercial. I did adjust the diaper slightly, but we made it through the night with no leaks : )

But after yesterday with 3 leaks...I gave up and put her in a disposable. I was so upset! I wanted to cry! I don't give up easily by the way, once I put my mind to something I have to stick it out...which reveals a lot about my sinful heart. I become a fierce competitor with whatever it is that is not working out....in this situation, I was mad at the diapers, literally. I was sitting on the couch holding one with anger building up inside (I almost threw it)! I prayed about my heart, asking for wisdom in this situation and for forgiveness in becoming so overwhelmed and angry about my diapering experience and for my frustrations with Josie in the process of giving bathes.

Today I had a revelation...what if I'm not changing the diaper enough? Disposables can make parents a little lazy; I feel like I've won something when I only have to do 3-4 diaper changes in 24 hours! Josie's only had 2 mild diaper rashes her whole life...so I must be doing things right. I really do believe that diapers need to be changed more frequently than that, since I don't like it when kids at the hospital are left in wet diapers for hours on end. Well here's what I found this morning while researching. Cloth diapers should be changed every 2-3 hours, 4 hours max for outings. Disposables gave me luxury because they are so absorbent! But cloth isn't as absorbent as those little artificial, super beads in the disposable diaper! So I'm jumping in again...knowing that I will be devoting time by having to change more diapers (which really only take 2 minutes, so it can't really be that much of an inconvenience).

So, it's really a funny thing. My adventure in cloth diapers exposed some sin in my heart! How foolish I am to become so overwhelmed with a task that I become angry with myself, my child, and a diaper! I do this all the time! With dinners, getting out the door to run errands, even having to fill up on gas when I didn't think I would need to! I seem to be viewing my time and efforts as the most precious thing in my life! That's why interruptions from Josie or changes in Greg's plan to come home for dinner all have such an impact on me! I love how every little thing in life can be a learning experience...this has really been a test of character, even though it is so mundane! It's funny how the Lord can use such a little thing in my life to reveal a deeper aspect of my character. I continue to pray for wisdom and humility in helping our family use our time, resources, and finances efficiently. I pray against pride if I feel success in my efforts. Like always, may the Lord be glorified in everything, even in how I choose to diaper my children.

Lessons I'm learning as a mother

2009-05-10T22:47:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who have been blessed with motherhood!

These past 18 months have been an incredible learning experience for me. Josie was born on Oct 4, 2007 and though I know children well, I did not know how to parent. By God's grace alone, I have learned how to love as a mother...but trust me, I am not done learning. He has humbled me into the realization that my qualifications as a mother are only that I am a woman with a child. The character of a mother is much deeper and is a gift from the Lord. Much of what I am learning about being a mother stems from the realization that I have a perfect Father. I thought I understood what it means to be a "child of God". It seems so simple (and a little trite) to say that "God is our Father", but the meaning can be lost in the over-used phrase to the point that God becomes our image of a father, not the nature of who he really is.

Being a parent has helped me reflect on how perfect a father our Lord really is. His nature is highlighted and glorified in the way I both make mistakes and act well as a parent.So here are some lessons he's been teaching me along the way:

1) Be slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 86 beautifully describes the nature of our Father in heaven, "But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." I am quick to become angry with my toddler for her tantrums and disobedience. These events do require correction, but my sinful attitudes of anger, annoyance, and impatience tarnish the God-given responsibility I have to raise my children with loving discipline and correction. I tearfully regret saying that I even become angry when I am inconvenienced at interruptions in my daily routine. It is hard to admit this sin so publicly, as I did not want to become "that" angry parent, but I am. I regretfully reflect after disciplining Josie that I am quick to anger, thus tainting my opportunity to correct her in love. Our Lord responds justly to our rebellion, but demonstrates love in his correction. He is patient with us as we go through a continual, tedious sanctification process. As we continue to sin and rebel, he calls us to repentance, and lovingly embraces us when we return to him. Although hurt at our choices to disobey, he perfectly responds in love. My own sinful response to Josie's disobedience helps to humble me into repentance and growth, and helps me to look at my perfect Father's character and response to me when I continue to sin against him and others.

2) Listen...carefully, before speaking. James gives some practical, proverbial advice in his epistle regarding speech, and though I don't want to throw out an overused verse, here it is. James 1:19 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak..." I think back on this teaching as it was explained in nursing school as "active listening", but I seem to only apply it to my patients and their families at the hospital. The Lord listens to our every prayer, but he is discerning to know what our heart is truly saying (even when our words don't match it). He is actively listening at any moment, without hesitation. A perfect parent with ears available to listen attentively at anytime. Again I reflect on his perfect nature as a parent when I see that I do not fully know how to listen (sometimes I think I don't want to learn how to listen).

I have caused much aggravation to my dear sweet child by assuming what it is she is trying to say. How frustrating it must be for her to know so many words, but not know how to say them! This evening she kept saying the same word over and over ("bodo"), and I would immediately presume to know what she was saying (baby, bubble, book?). She became so frustrated with me that she collapsed on the floor in tears! Finally I asked her, "Josie do you want a bottle?" and she looked up nodding with tear-filled eyes saying "yoh, yoh, yoh" (her version of yes). She was only asking to go to bed, but I wasn't even trying to listen to her, because I wasn't ready to put her to bed! How often I must do this with my friends and family as well. Hearing only the words I want to hear, not listening to what it is I am really being told. What's worse is that I ignore God in the same way...choosing to listen to only part of what it is he is teaching me. So much of our conversations can be more fully understood if we took the time to pay attention to the words, emotions, and nonverbal language that is all being communicated at the same time. I would have known that Josie was already preparing for bed before she came to me asking for a bottle.

On to a lighter note:

3) Balloons and bubbles are fascinating things. Josie informs me of this every time we enter the grocery store or during evening bathes. Her innocent excitement is apparent to everyone in the aisle when she points and says "bawoos" (it gets even more exciting when we checkout and there are a lot of bawoos!) She even gets worked up when she sees a balloon on her winnie-the-pooh movie!

4) Sing often. I love to sing, but not until recently did I find that Josie sings when I sing. I used to just sing to her right before naps and bedtime, but now realize that song should be gracing our time together throughout the day. She does not sing alone yet, but I am honored that I can teach her the joy of music by singing often around her. I can't wait for her to sing the same hymns I cherish so much. I believe the Lord would be pleased if I graced our home with song as well, since worshiping with song does not have to be just a sunday church event. I hope Josie will learn to sing freely to the Lord without hesitation. My hope is for worshipful song to be integrated into every day activities, and for her to bring cheer to those around her by worshiping our Lord often with song.

So it's been a long road so far with a huge learning curve. I feel honored and blessed to have this opportunity to love my daughter, our future child(ren), and my husband. I continue to pray for guidance and for the Lord to show me how to love well. I pray for humility in knowing my own Father better: that I would be open to understanding who he really is and how he reveals his nature to us in Scripture and in our life. May the glory always be to him.

I can identify with Obama on this one...

2009-02-21T18:56:00.000-08:00

For the two of you who read this, you probably know I (Greg) am a lefty and do the jacked-up bent wrist thing that Obama does to keep from smearing my hand in the ink. It doesn't matter much with ball-point pens, but if you use a Uniball .5mm Rollerball Pen like I do (my pen of choice), then you protect it from smearing the ink. I'm glad I won't have to lobby this one with the president.

HT: My blog

A New Year

2009-01-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

A new year has started.

I have mixed feelings about 2009 as I try to gain a sense of what to expect. Feelings of joy and blessing, fears over change and the unknown, interest in the lessons waiting to be learned, and hope for continual guidance from the Lord.

I wish I could view the new year as a clean slate, but I've always struggled with that type of optimisim. The slate isn't clean, per se; I'm the same person I was on Dec 31st, with the same struggles, the same heart, the same prayers. Not that I don't wish to change, I just know the process continues with where the year left off. What is positive about the new year for me is the refreshing outlook of all that has changed and all that will change in a year. Usually the unknown is a trigger for anxiety and fear for me; I always want to play God and know what my future entails. Right now, however, I am excited and a little at peace as I ponder a new road. The best way to describe it is like I'm standing in still waters on the edge of a river. I feel rather calm and at peace presently, but I can see up ahead some fast water (possibly scary and a little rough, but not dangerous).

So I should report the changes that I do know of.

Greg and I are happy to announce that we have heard and seen the healthy baby growing within me. At 13 weeks I am feeling physically refreshed after weeks of difficult morning sickness. I also feel mentally and spritually refreshed as I know the pregnancy is progressing. Our baby is expected sometime around the due date of July 21, 2009. Along with a new baby comes adjustment. I know our family dynamics and relationships, my daily routine, and my ability to work will all change. More importantly, I expect my heart will be transformed as well. It's exciting, but also very humbling, to think of all that the Lord can teach me (He knows I need to learn a lot!) through another year of life.

So as the new year starts, I pray for wisdom and guidance in how I perceive the future. I pray for a clear view of my heart and sins as I encounter these changes. I know the Lord has bigger plans than anything I could ever plan, and for that I am thankful. May I seek to glorify him in everything.

Holiday Season Part 3: Let it Snow!

2008-12-13T14:28:00.000-08:00

We're out in North Bend this weekend for some good ol' family fun! I worked yesterday and left the hospital at 3:45 pm, it took me exactly 1 hour to move 1.5 miles in my car. In all, it was a 2 hour commute to get from the hospital to the in-laws. Plus...I was in charge of picking up KFC for dinner for the crowd of 8, and I was craving some crispy chicken to snack on for the remainder of the ride (and I have very specific cravings these days). You can only imagine how disappointed I was to find the KFC in Issaquah closed due to a main break. So we settled on McDs, which wasn't a part of my list of cravings...

I kept praying that this wasn't a sign for how this weekend would turn out...

After a night of reconnecting with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Greg and I headed to my parents to sleep (due to a shortage of beds). We decided to tour the housing development for Christmas lights and were happy to find a nice variety of displays! It was quite festive with the snow that was continuing to fall, adding to the inch of accumulation that was already on the ground. We found that LED lights are the new fad...though we're not Christmas light connoisseurs, we like to think we know a thing of two of outdoor illumination (we try to help my dad every year so he can compete in the annual competition). We're not so sure about the neon, rave look, but we know they're "green", so I guess that's a good thing : ) Greg refers to the new LED trend as a "Chernobyl Christmas".

Once we got to my parent's house at 11:30 at night, we settled into the "lodge" bedroom. There were no blinds to hide the icicle lights blinking furiously outside our three windows...Greg said it looked romantic on the ceiling...I said it looked like the house was on fire. But it was a nice touch none-the-less. We had a good couple of laughs over the experience, thinking back to a Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase (It's an annual tradition to watch the movie while decorating our Christmas Tree). I was happy to compliment my dad on his handiwork this morning.

So the snow is continuing to fall beautifully. Josie continues to say "bubbas (bubbles)" as she excitedly looks out the window. It's quite sweet really. She's enjoying the time she's spending with her 2 year old cousin, they're best-friends now...here are the pictures to prove it!

It has been a good weekend so far! We've still got the big party tonight! So I better go get the cake decorated!

Holiday Season Part 2: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

2008-12-08T22:54:00.000-08:00

Well our Holiday Season posting started off slow and trailed off from there. So here I am resurrecting the theme in the second post. There are many things that I love about Advent, aside from celebrating the incarnation of our Savior to enter into our world to identify with us in suffering and secure peace with the Father as the sacrificial Lamb, such as scarves. I recently got my yearly cold winter scarf and really enjoy it. It was cheap at the Gap and has a nice print on it. What I enjoy most about scarves, is the feeling of a proper English Gentleman that accompanies it (I will even don the wool coat to complete the ensemble). This year, I was feeling so proper I decided to shave off the 'ol beard, which is a standard this time of year. But it is so nice to snuggle up on the coach next to the illuminated yule tree with a scarf, a nice glass of scotch, and a feeling of rest.However, that is not where rest is. Rest is also in stay-cations. I am taking Wed-Thurs. off work until the last two weeks of December and am looking forward to relaxing at home. But the problem is always the hustle and bustle that it creates for the days surrounding the stay-cation. But I am going to try and be diligent to not fall into workaholic mode when I am off the clock. Additionally, it has been tough lately resting at night because Dolly's morning sickness seems to accompany bedtime, and sometimes after I have already fallen asleep. The waking up makes my body feel like it was naptime more than bedtime. This has lead to the only cure for insomnia I know; reading a biography of an obscure Dutch-Presbyterian Apologist. Nevertheless, true rest isn't found in stay-cations, dutch-Presbyterians, or cool winter scarves that make one feel like a Gentleman. It is ultimately in Christ, and it is exciting that we have a season that commemorates his incarnation in literal tidings of comfort and joy. His incarnation is our comfort and joy because the work that he came to do (atoning for our sin, saving us from Satan, sin, and death) is the only place that we find real rest.

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

The joys of toddlerhood have arrived!

2008-12-03T23:07:00.000-08:00

Josie is now 14 months old! Time has truly flown by...that cute cooing baby is now a babbling machine with an outstanding dictionary of hundreds of words (only 15 are audible to the parent ear). It's definitely an exciting time! Right now I love how proud she gets when she says "light on/off" with the flick of her tiny fingers at the light switch. She'll glance up at me, her smile beaming as she points to the ceiling. Greg just leaned over and said "you can't overstate the sense of accomplishment she has." Her sense of wonder is hard for me to understand and relate to. If only I could translate that wonder into my view of Christ. One way I miss the joy of my salvation is by failing to see the wonder in Christ's amazing love for us and in his work on the cross. How much more he could reveal about himself to me if I was not so distracted, thus preventing me from experiencing the childlike wonder of faith? I wish I too could have a sense of wonder at the little things I encounter each day; thankfully, I have a little person with me all the time to help show me what these things mean.

So as joyous as this time has been, it has honestly been VERY challenging! Two weeks ago Josie learned how to whine and scream. She used to be "easy-going", and I was thankful for an infant who rolled with the punches, even with those extra long outings and delayed naps. Now I'm having to work harder at teaching her little heart! This came about too suddenly, and maybe it's just the added hormones of pregnancy impacting the drama that seems to be flooding upon me every morning when I change her diaper. But still...it's been difficult as I discuss with Greg how best to address these tantrums and screaming fests. I know children...they are my passion...but I'm just learning parenting! (This too came as a shock to my pride!) So...needless to say, I am having a heck of a time with her new mode of communication. I have found one thing that is helping is to get down on her level (literally), look at her in the eyes, and ask what's wrong. She recognizes a few signs, but does not perform them, so it's nice to have her whimper with the right one I sign. My patience has been tried about every 15 minutes, but the Lord is thankfully giving me more and more grace and passion to parent as each day comes. So it's getting late...and I will have to sleep to get more energy so that both hers and my own heart can go through more transformation tomorrow! Wish me luck as a new day approaches!

Holiday Season Part 1: Over the River and Through the Woods

2008-11-27T23:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! The official start to the holiday season started today, at least for our family. As soon as family is involved, it rings all too clearly of the spirit of the season (not intending to sound sarcastic here, but never-the-less, I just giggled).

It had been a busy week, but very enjoyable. Skip ahead to Wednesday...I went to lunch with my family at the new Snoqualmie Casino and won $40 on a penny slot machine! We then hosted our community group for a pre-Thanksgiving dinner, somehow we all fit around a dining room table (kids included). We all had good intentions to go to the Ballard Thanksgiving service at 7pm after our dinner together. However, in our intentions to plan wisely (i.e. post-pone naps so that kids would make it through the service), none of our kids actually took their naps...so we had actual and potential meltdowns about every 10 minutes (us included). Really, it was a good time to connect and relax, and Greg and I enjoyed opening up the new home to our church family. That night we had a date night, and since there was no place open in North Bend to get dessert, we traveled a few miles up the road to the Snoqualmie Casino to gamble the $40 I had won previously that day and to find out that drinks are not complimentary. We ended the night with a McDonald's milkshake and fries before crashing at his parent's house.

So here's the run-down on Thanksgiving for Greg and I. Every year, we have to share the holidays with each family. That means, one family gets us for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas day...we've found ourselves to be a hot commodity, second in line only to Josie. We spent some time with Greg's parents in the morning to share breakfast with them (homemade biscuits and gravy!). This gave me the precious time I needed to decorate my notorious turkey cake, which later got intentionally demolished before anyone could eat it...no not by me or Josie....not to insinuate Greg either, it was actually my own mom, for the purpose of good video footage : ) So we spent Thanksgiving in Ellensburg on my grandparent's farm. We had a good time (yes, I say we because Greg did too!) We were surprised to find that their TV was able to get a snowy version of the football games, so Greg was thoroughly enjoying the Titans big win. Josie had a good time getting re-acquainted with the family she hasn't seen in awhile, and I had a good time feeding the horses next door, after driving across a pasture in a golf cart in 35 degree weather to get to them.

But really, it was a wonderful day filled with laughter and family. I was thankful the Lord brought us all together, especially my sister from California. I was also thankful for the time I spent with Greg in the car on the way over. We had some good conversations and felt energized for the rest of the day together. He let me sleep on the way back...what a sweetheart : ) So here we are....relaxing and unwinding from another busy week, but one that has been truly blessed and we are very thankful for our friends and family who shared this time with us.

"The Greg and Dolly Show" Spinoff

2008-10-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

Dolly and I have always been fans of "The Greg and Dolly Show." It was a term that we started back in High School to characterize certain dates, scenarios, or events in our life that were big enough to be deemed for a good TV show. It started off as a teenage drama, complete with cool soundtrack (we still have some mixed CD's for certain dates), hot drama, a little bit of ignorant romance, and even in some cases, action. The first season was fun with some great day trips to Leavenworth, road-tripping the cascade loop, skipping school to go to the zoo, and Dolly butchering Mac N Cheese while we played pop-punk in my band Influence (that's right Nick, my band, even though I only played drums). It had a lot of comedic moments, was light-hearted and felt more like a pilot season than anything else, we had no idea where it was headed (although we both knew it was headed to marriage).

The second season began following high school, the fun teenage drama became a little more intense. We both felt distant from each other and fought to keep the love that we kindled in High School as Dolly was at SU and I was off at Army Training and then Northwest University. Throughout the season, there was the angst of feeling exiled from home, love, and life. It bred fights, fears, and bitterness but also gave us the chance to fight for our love. It was a difficult season for "The Greg and Dolly show", whereas it was previously characterized by that careless teenage feeling, it had developed into something more serious but unstable. It was like the crappy part of "Friends" where you were sick of the Ross and Rachel drama and you wanted either the closure or the consummation (I voted for closure for Ross and Rachel, but wanted us to make it). At the high point of this was when I got my military orders to go overseas. It felt like we were getting close to the season finale, what would happen next? Would they still be together? Was it just a good run for two seasons? The questions went on and on.

The season finale ended with a proposal.

Halfway through the deployment there was a special summer episode of the show. It was a two week stint where we got married, had a vacation to Victoria, moved into an apartment, and experienced the giddiness of newlyweds. It matured past a teenage drama, but embodied more of a prime-time sitcom. It was very fun. We we married, being cool, hanging with good friends, and laughed a lot. After the two week stint, I went back to Kuwait and the show was put on hold (it was sorta like a writers strike, where it couldn't continue, but we couldn't wait for it to come back).

When we came back we finished school, got into our careers. For me it was ministry, interning at Mars Hill for 100$ a month (thank you GI Bill), and for Dolly it was working at Children's. The show was in full swing and hit a good stride. It continued to do well. There were little hiccups here and there which made for an interesting season, e.g. Greg getting laid off for budget reasons, thinking about moving to Charlotte, NC for Seminary, but realizing that God has called us to the NW. This season ended with a Bang: a pregnancy (watch the surprise pregnancy announcement here-the first 30 sec.). We ended up moving back to North Bend, our hometown, for that season so that we could be close to our parents when Josie arrived and it was awesome. Little did we know that his was going to be the finale of the "Greg and Dolly Show."

The show ended when ratings were at their peak. It had been a run encompassing every aspect of great television: romance, comedy, action, and spirituality. However, it wasn't the end of our career. The "Greg, Dolly, and Josie Show" was an even more successful spinoff!

What had started as a teenage drama transitioned into a feel-good family sitcom. There was the comedy of ignorant parenting, poo, great laughter, sleepless night, and love. Receiving Josie into the cast has been one of the biggest blessing in our "television career" and we look forward to continuing to watch her mature into an actress and seeing the roles that God calls her to. In addition to that, we are also excited about the possibility of future cast members (hopefully some more brothers or sisters for our lil prima donna).

Although we still do get great evenings where we are able to do a reunion of the "Greg and Dolly Show" (such as going on a great date night), it is no longer the show that characterizes our family. The show has unfolded into a more elaborate one that is a great blessing. The best part is that we have so many supporting actors that make it so enjoyable for those watching and participating. Our parents, friends, co-workers, those we live in community with, and others.

This all really hit me following Josie's B-day, and I realized on the way home from Leavenworth that we made it through the first season of the "Greg, Dolly and Josie Show" and it was a seamless transition from the original show to the better spinoff. We do see this as part of God's blessings and are so thankful for the ways He continually shows His grace and love to us by giving us another season (hopefully many more) with more cast members, and more opportunities to see His hand as the director of the show. By the way October 15 will mark 8 years from the pilot episode of the "Greg and Dolly Show" we might have a reunion in honor of that :)

Josie turns 1 year old!

2008-10-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

If 1.5 minutes of Joines family fun wasn't enough....

Josie turns 1 year old as of 12:21 am October 4th! That would be tomorrow. So in celebration of this exciting turn of events...we've created another montage. This time we sorted through roughly 1000 photos and a few hours of random video footage...all into 11 minutes of pure Josie fun montage style. So sit down and invest 11 minutes into our movie...the good parts are towards the end. Hope you enjoy our little darling as much as we do : )

12 Months of Josie from Greg and Dolly on Vimeo.

When feeling like Richard Gere isn't as sexy as it sounds

2008-10-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great Birthday! I have hit a huge milestone; lower car insurance rates, the ability to rent cars without using my expired military ID, and according to an old copy of Men's Health, 25 is the most healthy year of a man's life (I intend to disprove that). Now that I am officially old, and on my way to becoming a geriatric (gray hairs to prove it), I have learned two huge things that can only come from this old age. First, the papers I produce when I drink 4 cups of coffee and consume 2 Red Bulls are far from intelligible (HT: Editorial Team of Dolly and Erin). However, that won't stop me from my Red Bull binging. Second, just because a cupcake has a cool design doesn't mean that it has more frosting (HT: wifey).

Overall the Birthday was/is awesome. I have married into a tradition that maintains a strict 3-day birthday rule (which usually evolves into a couple of weeks for some people). The first day was an awesome day with one of the greatest (and my favorite) recipes in the entire world, a beef enchilada dip (HT: Teresa. I will ask permission to post her awesome recipe on here...). Yesterday, we went out for appetizers and drinks, I won't mention the restaurant but it was featured in "Talledega Nights" and rhymes with -pplebee's (it's cheesy but I love the happy hour...). Then tonight, after community group (where Dolly brought cupcakes- hence lesson numero two) was presents. Dolly knows the key to my heart, a case of Red Bull and a DVD of the greatest action adventure film since Bicentennial Man, well it was the best this year (Death Race was a huge let-down), Iron Man. But the best present comes from the Browns, who gave birth to their new daughter on my birthday. Great "planning" guys, I am honored!! So here is a pic of the spoils of the B-day, and time to go look into getting a AARP card....and watch Iron Man with my lovely wife.

Family Montage at Gasworks

2008-09-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Greg met me and Josie at Gasworks. We were both dolled up, Josie looked cute too :) We met Kaitlin Musser for a photo shoot, which was exciting because she took our preggo photos a year ago (view on her website). She took some excellent photos! So please take a moment, relax, enjoy 1.5 minutes of Joines family montage.

Family Montage at Gasworks from Greg and Dolly on Vimeo.

Pibil, the Phantom, and Parking Garages

2008-09-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

*Some details may be falsified/embellished for dramatic effect...

So last Friday was a great day of celebration. I didn't exactly know what we were celebrating, but we decided to party like Rock Stars (or how we would party if we were Rock Stars). It started with the usual; waking up to the Josie, getting some grub and heading out the door. Instead of making the pilgrimage all the way out to North Bend, we met Dolly's mom (Grandma Sheri to the wee one) in Issaquah at 'the Bird' for an Iced tea, Diet Coke, and an order of fries. After leaving Josie for a fun adventure at the Grandparents (she has become rather fond of Boompa), we decided to head over to Ross so we could look snazzy sexy on the Cheap. I ended up with a nice Calvin Klein shirt, Dolly ended up with a wardrobe, and Josie would get a puffy pink jacket (I hope we return it, *hint* *hint* Dolly). There is something about getting some new, nice clothes and going out on the town (and there is something else about even leaving the tags on to let the town know that you are going out in new nice clothes- we practiced the former and neglected the latter). Anyway, after Ross we had to hit up QFC to make ingredient for our favorite Mexican dish, Puerco Pibil.

**SIDENOTE: Puerco Pibil is an amazing slow roasted pork dish that is uber fantastic (I probably should've used a Spanish word and not a German would to describe that...). Anyway, it is the only thing good about the movie "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" Robert Rodriguez has a "10 Minute Cooking School" (Rated -R, but the PG-13 version of the Recipe is here) and it teaches you to make this amazing dish. I highly recommend it. Because you use 5 lbs of meat, it usually feeds the Joines Fam for about 10 meals.**

At QFC we figured the best course of action for our Pibil campaign was to break up into two teams ('super secret squad alpha,' consisting of me and 'lame Dolly team', consisting of Dolly) Alpha team was in charge of a 4-pack of Red Bull and 5.5 lbs of Pork Butt and the Dolly team was in charge of the rest. It was like a crazy scavenger hunt to get the ingredients and meet at the register. Unfortunately, and I won't mention any team names, but it wasn't the super secret squad alpha team forgot to get the most coveted Mexican cheese in the display, Cotila or something, so she had to go back and get it, and ultimately had to pay separately for that.

So after a short stop at a liquor store (to get a cute lil bottle of Tequila for the Pibil), we made the trek home. We had laid out all the spice before we left and were ready to grind, blend, and roast. The little bottle of Tequila somehow broke and when I opened it up it started draining across the floor and shooting a small stream of liquor across the kitchen. Since my military training kicked in, I knew exactly what to do; get a safe distance away and aim the small stream in the blender. Unfortunately my marksmanship with a lil bottle of Tequila isn't as good as one might expect with all my taxpayer-sponsored training, so after the most expensive dribble of tequila in the mix, we were ready to put it in the oven.

After a short nap we woke up to some fantastic Pibil and got ready to go. We both looked great and we were ready to tear up the town. So after a few navigational blunders/parking adventures, we ended up parked and almost 50 minutes early. So we got to the Paramount, purchased an outrageously over-priced program, and looked good (we do these things in style, or at least we pretend). So we decided that we would get a drink; I got Glenlivett on the rocks (a standard) and Dolly ordered a "Masquerade" (Absolut Pear, Soda and a splash of Cran- disgusting). So neither one of us really enjoyed our drinks (they gave me about a pint of Scotch and Dolly's was just plain disgusting), but we didn't want to just throw our drinks away. So with the utmost care we performed the most clandestine operation of the evening; getting rid of our drinks without other people knowing that we were getting rid of our drinks. We saw only a handful of options:

Wrap the napkin around the cup and toss it in the garbage can,
The dying tree to the left of us could probably use a little pear liquor in its roots, or
Tastefully discard the beverage while at the drinking fountain pretending to get a drink.

We decided on the last option, but I had to perform the act with both drinks. It was smooth (aside from the mountain of ice left in the drinking fountain). So finally we were able to snag our seats. We had purchased the tickets one week before they went on sale thanks to Dolly's passport thing for working at Children's and they gave us some of the best seats in the house. They were dead center and 8 rows back so we could easily gaze over the pit to the theatrics unfolding around us, and were under the Chandelier as it fell (really cool). Overall, the play was a fantastic experience (the production was amazing, the costumes were great, and the music was captivating) my only beef is that the main lead for men were anything but strong. Since my only framework for the Phantom was King Leonidas (300) who played the Phantom in the movie version, so I was expecting a pretty tough dude. Instead, we got this joker (below the King). Lame. This consequently made Christine's character look weak. So after enjoying the time at the theåtre, we hit up the Cheesecake Factory for a quick appetizer and drink. We both enjoyed some of our favorite foods (Potstickers for the misses and I rocked some sliders), and got some Cheesecake and Carrot Cake for the road.

Unfortunately, the entrance to the convention center (where we parked) closes at 10pm and the garage closes at 12am. Our watch said 11.15 and we knew if we didn't play our cards right, we would be that couple calling you (to the two people who will read this) asking if you could pick us up. Luckily after going through the entrance off 8th, through a parking garage, through three levels of the convention center, and riding in two elevators we made it back to our car. We pulled into our Pibil smelling abode shortly after midnight and were able to enjoy some of our Cheesecake bounty. We started a good movie about the IRA terrorists, but was only able to make it 20 minutes in before we crashed.

Dolly wishes that I would be more thoughtful posts on here instead of just recounting the adventures. I honestly am thankful for Jesus that I have an amazing wife who have been able to grow with over the past 8 years and still enjoy and experience 'that teenage feeling', that I get to eat good food that anticipates a heavenly feast with Jesus, that we have caring parents who love and adore our girl to enable us to do this, that there is creation and expressions of it via theater (and the better movie) to reflect God's creation and drama, and that we can share how special this is to the one person who actually finished reading this.

Why I'm a Nurse at Children's

2008-09-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

The Soulworker

A nurse is a soulworker. The mending of
the body is only a fraction of what she
accomplishes each day. With her compassion,
kindness, and specialized skills she encourages and
inspires those she works with. Through her caring,
courage and everyday heroism, the act of nursing
becomes a life’s work. The nurse is transformed
into a vehicle of healing. She is a soulworker.

Micheline Montgomery PhD
September 2002

I had an incredibly emotional and difficult time at work on Friday evening...the second night of work that I have ever cried in front of my colleagues. I cried twice last night at work in fact, and fought tears the rest of my night at home. I am often asked how I cope with working with sick children, and my only answer is that God has prepared my heart in advance to serve these families in the capacity he has enabled me to. I feel privileged, honored, and blessed to have the opportunity to show the same love and compassion that my Father has shown me to families of different cultures, languages, and religions. Whatever economic, situational, or physical characteristics seem to define these children and their families, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ looks beyond to see the heart. I am thankful that he has called me to serve them with kindness and love as I too reach beyond what is on the outside to help the hurting, sick, or disabled child and the family that provides unconditional love to that child outside the hospital.

So here is a list of reasons why I love working as a nurse at Children's Hospital:

I see bedridden children sit up with joy at the sight of a therapy dog

I see exhausted fathers return to their teenager's room with McDonalds at 2:00 am

I see new mothers tearfully express thanks when I enter their room with hot tea, as they await the doctors news from the most recent labs drawn from their newborn.

I see teenagers who have battled cystic fibrosis together for years, chatting on their hospital phones while they play Monopoly from separate hospital rooms

I see foster parents dressing their child's wounds day after day with the utmost care and affection, for they were called to care for a child who's skin fails to heal

I see the 3 year old in severe pain call out for "more bubbles" as I fill their room with little floating balls of joy.

I see new fathers anxiously attempt to change the first diaper of their little boy as I stand nearby coaching with words of encouragement.

I see excited toddlers stand in their "bubble-top" cribs playing peek-a-boo with me as I stand outside their room, knowing that when I enter I have to "gown up" and put on a mask making it impossible for them to truly trust me, a faceless stranger.

I am a sticker queen for the school girls

I am a warm arm for the babies without parents alone in their room at 4 am

I am an ear to anxious teenagers, missing the most important dance at school

I am encouragement to the mother learning how to give insulin injections to her 2 year old, newly-diagnosed, diabetic son

I am respite for the parents who have spent hours trying to calm their agitated daughter who has cerebral palsy

I am the lady who pulls the wagon for the preschooler needing to go on a "walk" around the unit late at night

I teach, encourage, support, learn, cope, laugh, plan, lead, listen, hold, blow bubbles, cry, and everything else that is required of a nurse besides giving meds, continuously assessing, calling doctors, and endless charting.

Nursing is not who I am, it is not where I find my identity, it is not what I do. God has called me to nursing, not solely as a profession, but as a call to service. I learn about my heart, and it's sinful and fruitful responses, through this calling. I learn more about others: the strength that Gods gives a family to endure, the love that connects a child with his or her family, and what it means to work with a team on a common purpose to promote the physical and emotional well-being of a child.

I am truly thankful that God has placed me at Seattle's Children's Hospital for the past 2 1/2 years. I pray he will keep me there longer, whatever his will may be. I am thankful for my husband who has supported me the past 8 years, through high school and college, to discover and answer this call that the Lord had for me. I am thankful that God (and my husband) continue to give me the opportunity to work as a nurse part-time, and for my family who supports me by watching Josie when I need to sleep during the day. I continue to pray for emotional and physical strength as I experience more difficult situations at work. I pray for the ability to rest easily when I come home and to give up my worries about patients through prayer. Lastly, I pray for those children who are struggling as I type, for their families, and for the many people who care for them tonight who may also be fighting back the same tears I have shed.

Changing Traditions

2008-09-01T22:39:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to go into work tonight at 11pm, but they gave me a "no pay". Basically, that's when they call at about 10pm saying "we don't need you...do you want to take the night off (not eligible for pay)?" It's always fun to receive a no pay : )

So...I thought now would be a good time to talk about our trip to Ellensburg! Greg gave you his version in the last blog (it made me laugh out loud..but I can guarantee I was not laughing at the time it happened!)

Ever since my family moved to Washington in '99, we meet at my grandparent's farm in Ellensburg for the annual parade/fair/rodeo over Labor Day weekend. We've done it all over the past 9 years: played horsehoes, badmitton, golf, picked corn, fished, camped and/or chased cows in my Grandpa's pasture. Memories have been made every year. The first year I got a puppy, the third year we slept out in a 3 room tent (at which time I was horrified at my mom told my then-boyfriend Greg how I was conceived...), the list goes on and on. But this year...everything was different.

I'm the type of person that thrives on tradition and memories, and it hurts to see such an important event in my life, one that I look forward to for months, change so drastically. I knew it was coming eventually. Every year my Grandpa hosts the tractor portion of the parade in his front yard. Saturday at 6 am dozens of men with their polished John Deeres ride into the yard in formation to head into town for the morning parade. The largest pulls a giant covered wagon big enough to hold 50 people. It started out that the entire family, including my great-aunts and uncles, cousins, and random people I was somehow related to, used to ride in the covered wagon and wave to the crowds. Over the past 5 years, the number has decreased signficantly. This year only 6 members of my extended family rode in the parade, even the number of tractors decreased! This was a sign of a much bigger problem to our family traditions.

This year I realized that Labor Day weekend won't ever be the same. Each family has changed; there are new marriages, pregnancies, children, relocations, career changes, homes, deaths, and separations. It hit me hard this year that everything has changed. At first I was dissapointed, no one showed up for the annual family reunion except us! There were no family games of horsehoes, badmitton, or golf. My heart was broken.

As we were leaving town, God spoke through my husband to heal my heart. I must not look back and regret what won't be in the future, I must look back with a thankful heart for the memories and bonds made in the past. I must look towards the growth in each family's life, and pray for my family for the changes each one is enduring. I must look forward to the blessings God has for my own family with Greg and rejoice in the changes that have come and will come in the future. Nothing is meant to be stagnant in my life. God is ever changing this renewed heart within me. I am constantly learning and constantly growing in every way...and so is our family. This weekend the Lord blessed Greg and I with a restful time to connect with our daughter and each other. With a large crowd, we would have been unable to spend the quality time as a family. I would not have been able to spend two wonderful, and well-needed, date nights with my husband. So I am truly thankful for the changes that we witnessed this year. I believe God has prepared me for a new and difficult lesson to learn. Life is going to continue to change, our family reunion will likely never be the same as before. Another lesson of adulthood I guess, and now that Greg and I have a child, the lesson hit hard! But we are rejoicing in it!

To lighten the mood, I should tell you that we had a great time introducing Josie to horses, pigs, and golf carts. She had a blast with every thing! She had her first date at the fair; her daddy won her a pink doggy from the carnival games.

A Trip Characterized by Poo

2008-08-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

Over this labor day weekend, the whole fam packed up and headed east. It has been a family tradition ever since before we became a family. Its a great time to connect with relatives at Dolly's grandparent's farm, watch (and even participate) in the Ellensburg Rodeo Parade (we usually ride in a covered-wagon and wave to the locals), eat the nasty (but tasty) Rodeo food (this time it was tacos and nachos), and find ways to wreak havoc with Golf Carts. In contradistinction to previous years, this year's trip has primarily been characterized by poo. Unlike Eggnog, that you can drink up to 3 week past the expiration date without major side-effects, organic DHA-enhanced whole-milk maintains a strict "7-day within opening" rule. Not knowing this "7-day rule" Dolly has been introducing this jug of Milk into Josie's diet for the past 2 weeks (that's 7 days longer than the "7-day rule"). Of course, we became aware of the rule on the morning we were planning to pilgrimage to Ellensburg.

We were about 30 miles away from Ellensburg, in the middle of nowhere, when it hit. A blowout for the books and on par with the worst parts of the Bible (or so it seemed). We took the next exit and ended up on a dirt road in a pasture with a flurry of baby wipes, little scented orange plastic bags, and dirty clothes. It was an adventure lasting approximately 20 minutes, and following a deluge of purel we finished the trek.

Throughout the afternoon we had little blowouts like these, but the worst was the following morning. As is custom, Dolly woke up and went to check in on Josie (usually affording me another few minutes of sleep), unfortunately, this one was cut short by the dreaded, "Greg, I need your help." I leaped up donning the cargo shorts from the previous night, and followed Dolly to the next bedroom where I heard the giggle of a mischievous Josie. It looked like Armageddon had struck the little pack 'n play. Following a flurry a baby wipes, hand towels, large garbage bags, antibacterial soap, 2 repeated loads of laundry, one impromptu bath, and a deluge of purel (pre and post showers), we were ready to start the day.

Overall, it was a great trip and provided an opportunity for Dolly and I have take two nights out on the town... err, Ellensburg. It was a great time for us to connect, make some great memories and discover some great local talent. I am sure we will post some more thoughts in the near future, but now Dolly and I have to watch "Hunt for the Red October."

Hugs and Kisses...whether you want them or not!

2008-08-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

To all those who know Josie and have seen her recently, you might laugh when I mention her stoic and serious demeanor. People compete over whether they can get her to smile. For example, this week we had gone to a friend's BBQ birthday bash, and amongst all the strangers, never once did Josie offer a smile or friendly smirk. Sure, she laughed and giggled as she watched her daddy play badminton, but to the rest of the world, she shot off thoughtful gazes that seem to cut those who try to be affectionate. This, I know, is just the surface of her personality. She opens up to people eventually, but it does take time. She's one of those people that seem to hold the philosophy that trust must be earned.

There's nothing wrong with this part of her personality. True, I sometimes wish selfishly that she could be that friendly baby that everyone loves to poke at and play with. I wish sometimes she wouldn't continue to stare at the Safeway clerk when she says "wow...what a serious baby". Furthermore, she's not a cuddly baby...she never has been. In her colicky stage she could not be calmed by Greg or I, no matter how hard we rocked, sang, read, walked, or prayed with her. She did best when (at six weeks old) we moved her out of our room and into the nursery. And even now I have taught her "hugs and kisses", but instead of reciprocating the affection, she literally pushes me away (no exaggeration here!) I told someone how I have been saddened by her uncuddly nature and her response was "well I wanted a cuddly baby, so I rubbed my tummy a lot when I was pregnant". That certainly didn't help encourage me in anyway. I instead was left feeling ashamed that maybe I caused her to be unaffectionate. I only briefly entertained that sinful thought, later I laughed it off.

Josie is almost 11 months old. I feel like I know this little girl inside and out, every nook and cranny of her budding personality. I've been with her the most out of anyone since her birth in October. Plus... I carried her so I feel like I know her even more.

I had to confess my prideful thoughts first : )

I'm not rambling or complaining, I do have a point! God is working on my heart through all of this.

#1: I cannot have unhealthy expectations for the child I have been blessed with or of those future children I may have. I have sinned in my selfish thoughts for a cuddly or extroverted baby. Josie may not be affectionate...she takes after me in that respect. I have a very particular space bubble that must be respected, even Greg steps cautiously at times. I happen to like the use of the term "love languages", and God (being perfect in his pairing of mates) chose me to be with someone who happens to have physical touch as a primary love language. Thus I have learned, and am continually learning, how to show and receive physical touch as a way to communicate love. I must learn to communicate love in the way that Josie knows how to communicate and receive love. Nevertheless, I will continue to be affectionate in all ways that I know how, including the giving of frequent hugs and kisses as the mommy inside me longs to do : )

#2: God knit this child together in my womb. She belongs primarily to him. I know he finds joy in the little creation that He created, the little creation that I was blessed enough to give birth to and to love and cherish as a mother should. Just as he pairs mates together in his perfect plan, so I believe, he pairs parents with children. Parenting Josie will mean a long and continual process of redemption. I and she will sin, confess, and repent; we will be sanctified for his Holy purpose, and the relationship we have will be one that reflects His redemption.

Within this realization, I know our Father in Heaven created Josie to have a particularly unique and special personality fit for His plan for her life. I, therefore, cannot have prideful thoughts that I know her "the best", as if to presume I have her figured out. I also cannot be discouraged by how she interacts with our friends. I do not know her as well as the Lord does. She will continue to surprise me, and I will always be learning who she is. Although I do believe the Lord does provide parents with a special insight into their childrens' hearts, so as to guide them as a Godly parent should.

So I love Josie with all of my heart, and I feel privileged and blessed to be her mother. To all those who fight for her smiles, keep trying, they will come eventually. Until then, love her as one is called to love a child of God : )

Little Words of Wisdom

2008-08-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

I recently confessed to Greg that I was struggling with bitterness, specifically referring to how I hold on to the wrongs done to me in the past. I wasn't thrilled when his encouragement was "we don't have permission to hold on to them". I honestly thought that was a lame and trite thing to say at the moment. But I've been struck by it the last few days as God has graciously allowed the piece of wisdom to sink in on a deeper level.

We don't have permission to hold on to bitterness. Am I assuming that God has granted me permission to hold on to it? Maybe I am. Maybe I confess this sin with an attitude that I am "gifting" God with something that is mine to begin with. God never granted me permission to hold on to it, so why do I feel that I can own these feelings? Or worse...that I feel I have a right to own them, a right to allowing bitterness to stain my heart, and consequently, my actions. Maybe I fail to realize that I don't have a choice to own them or not.

It has been easier to whole-heartily confess and be free from the tangled mess of bitterness when I admit that I do not have a right to own it. It is not a confession I gift to the Lord, it is something he already suffered and paid for, it is something that belongs to him. I cannot wallow in bitterness at the sins committed against me. He paid for those one's too, so I cannot act like those sins only affect me and grant me a right to own my response to them. It's easy now to see where pride (again) is the root of my sin. It all goes back to breaking the first commandment I guess: I found an idol (myself) to place before God.

So when the feeling of bitterness arises at the mention of a name or place, I have been telling myself that it is not mine to keep, for God never granted me permission to linger on a sinful response. Greg always does have the perfect way to encourage me, even when I'm too stubborn at the time to allow the Lord to speak through him. Thank God for his and my husband's patience! :)

Blessed Gifts

2008-08-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

Josie turned 10 months today! That means in 2 months from now, we'll be celebrating a landmark birthday! We're very excited, but haven't yet made plans on how to celebrate. However, Greg and I have been discussing what presents she'll receive. We originally were going to get her her first doll, as a special gift, but decided that she is ready for one now :) So we recently bought her the first "baby" (we'll post pictures soon, she's really sweet with it!).

Since we bought her a special toy already, and I've already made her 2 blankies, I was at quite a loss on what we should give to her. God has been convicting me over how much emphasis I have been placing on her gifts. I've now realized that I can create her some memorable gifts using the creative skills he has blessed me with. Fortunately, this will be inexpensive since we have most of the supplies. So here's what we have decided to do.

I am creating a scrapbook of her first year, not for my own to keep, but for her to have. Greg will also pitch in his artistic creativity to personalize some pages (we have created a scrapbook together in the past). Within it I will have letters written from all the close family, which will remain closed until she's old enough to read and cherish them. We're also going to make a "Josie montage" so that her first year of videos will not make for a boring, uninteresting evening of family movies. But that she would find enjoyment as she watches a shorter clip of favorites from her as an infant. Lastly, I will buy a journal for her. A friend of mine told me how she journals for her children, and ever since, I have been intrigued with the idea of journaling my thoughts for her. Some tangible way for her to see how God is transforming me as a woman of faith, a wife, and a mother, so that she can look back in years to come to see inside of who I was at this stage in my life. I'm not sure how often I'll write in it, but that'll be worked out after I find the right journal. Greg has agreed to write in it as well, so basically it'll be a way to write "letters" of wisdom and love to our daughter.

So wish us luck with finding the time to complete these special gifts. I pray that our hearts remain joyful as we prepare them, and that we will not become over-whelmed or constricted by time. I am ok with presenting half-completed gifts for her birthday. The gifts won't mean anything if in preparing them we are sinning. I am looking forward to spending the next 2 months really looking back at this past year and how the Lord has blessed us with the most special gift in our precious child!

Confessions from a Stagnant Christian

2008-07-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile since we blogged, but I finally have a topic I'd like to share with my friends and family. It involves some completely honest testimony, open confession, and the joyful revelation that our Lord in heaven showed to me today.

To begin, I will share a brief testimony of my salvation...since the revelation He revealed to me won't mean the same without hearing about my life as a Christian.

I was saved at the age of 15 as a sophomore in high school. I was lead to Christ by the man who is now my husband (and my co-blogger), Greg. I attended youth group, and it finally hit me after a few months that God had destined me to know him and to receive his gift of grace, the salvation of my sins by the death of his wonderful Son, Jesus Christ. It seemed so clear to me at that point that he had been calling me all along. I can still recall the "seeds" of faith he had planted throughout my childhood. It is beautiful and comforting to know he was with me in every memory: the joys, the sorrows, the pain, the blessed times, everything. So for the past 7 or 8 years I have had a roller-coaster of growth. Greg (paraphrasing from Powlison who paraphrased from Calvin) describes believers in this way "some people grow in leaps and bounds like gazelles, others dredge by their fingernails...". At first I was a gazelle...thirsting for wisdom and knowledge that revealed and glorified him. But I quickly believed the lie that "Christianity is hard", I believe this is what resulted in my depressed spiritual state. This whole time my relationship with our Triune God has been like grasping for weeds to hold on to as I climb a steep mountain that I can't even see the top of! Every now and then it would be marked by "spiritual highs" that lasted a few weeks or months. I realize now that I am actually the slower grower, maybe like a sloth climbing a tree or something, rather than a gazelle leaping around.

So that's where I've been. Saved, but not truly experiencing the joy that Christ has given me in himself. What happened to the faith that should have been like all those Max Lucado books? Christianity sometimes has this appearance that everything should just "click" right away. You walk into a Christian book store and are often overwhelmed by fluffy Christianity (no offense to those who like Lucado, but that is who first comes to mind) or how-to books that are actually mainstream psychology with a flavoring of Christianity placed between the lines. There is a general lie that is believed by most that "Christianity is hard", but instead of understanding this statement as a lie, people cover up their "inadequacies and failures" with smiles.

Now to the confession. I have failed to recognize that I have a new identity in Christ. I was surrounded by lies that I was filled with inadequacies and fears that prevented me from growing in relationship with him and those around me. This sounds so simple, but it's not fully recognized by people who say "Christianity is hard". Every time someone says it is hard, it seems to say "It's hard to be everything a Christian should be...it's hard to hold to what Scripture says". It doesn't seem like a lie at first, but it is. That's because when you say that, you're assuming that by your own power you could make it easier. That is completely false. We will ALWAYS fail if left up to our own futile power. So yes, it's hard if you assume you could fix the problem. I personally liked to plead in my prayers "I try Lord, but I can't seem to serve you or my husband....what am I doing wrong?" What I was doing wrong was "trying". I failed to recognize that he was and is my power source in everything. Ultimately, the foundational problem was that I failed to recognize the new identity that I possessed when I first acknowledged Christ as my savior.

Some of you might say right now..."wow that's a basic Christian truth she never really got." But that's the thing...I did get it. But obviously I was holding on to lies that prevented me from understanding and experiencing the joy and freedom that accompanied this truth. As a new creation (2 Cor 5.17), possessing a new identity, there should be freedom . We are no longer slaves to sin (Rom 6.6), our "sinful nature" no longer dwells within us, we don't need to try to make Christianity easy.

Now to the revelation...I am raised up. Since having a new identity in Christ, I am a new creation, "raised up with him (Eph 2:6)". I assumed that I still have a sinful nature, the sole inclination to sin, which presumes that I remained under the captivity of sin as a slave. But the language of Scripture does not say that. It says that we are new creations, filled with the Spirit (Eph 1.13) which was graciously given to us as a gift (Eph 1.13-14)...if that is true, we could not possess sinful natures, because we could not walk in darkness and in light (cf. John 12.42, John 8.12, and 1 John 1.5-7). Sinful natures and the Spirit could not dwell in the same person (Gal 5.17)! Although we as Christians obviously have the capability to sin and are definitely still prone to sin, we can have confidence in Christ who rescued us from being a slave to it and from the effects of our past, present and future sins (1 John 2.1).

Ephesians 2 1-10, has been a revolutionary passage for me. I believe the Lord has blessed me by answering my prayers to know what "having an identity in Christ" actually referred to. We are new creations because of our union with Christ; our identity is no longer a sin nature, we are now identified with Christ, thus possessing an identity in him. There is a freedom and joy in truly understanding what it means to be a new creation (2 Cor 3.17). Everything does change. We aren't the same sinful nature person who has God in the back corner of our life looking down once in awhile. He is ever present and we are ever connected to him (Col 3.3). Initially when Greg asked me what I thought having an identity in Christ meant, I first described it as being saturated with Christ. Greg corrected me by saying that "we aren't saturated. That assumes that we had something added to the same person. But the Bible states that person was dead in sin, and we are alive in Christ" (Eph 2, Rom. 6). Instead we are raised up (Col 3.1), yes we are filled, but that is because we are raised as new creations (2 Cor 5.17) seated with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:6).

So my next post will be shorter. It'll be of the chiastic structure of Eph 2, which helped lead to this revelation. I'll ask if Greg could post on what chiastic structures are for they are not commonly known, but I have found them quite helpful :)

Praise be to God for revealing himself! I am so thankful that 8 years ago he revealed that I am saved from sin, and has now let me experience that fully by saving me from the lies that I believed.

Condition of the Sheep

2008-04-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

As husbands we are called to love and lead our families as Christ loved the church (Eph 4.25-28). Unfortunately, many husbands fall into one of the two extremes of either neglecting their duty of leadership, or assuming a role of the household tyrant. The latter extreme is often because of neglect in loving the members of their family as Christ loves the church, and the former is due to neglect that leadership must be loving. One of the practical ways of lovingly leading our families to be invested in them. Both in regards to knowing their condition (e.g. their struggles, their joys, etc.) and practically investing in them (e.g. quality time, affection, etc.) . Proverbs exhorts us in knowing the condition of our flocks (and in this case our family). It states,

Know well the condition of your flocks,
and give attention to your herds,
for riches do not last forever;
and does a crown endure to all generations?
When the grass is gone and the new growth appears
and the vegetation of the mountains is gathered,
the lambs will provide your clothing,
and the goats the price of a field.
There will be enough goats' milk for your food,
for the food of your household
and maintenance for your girls. (Prov. 27.23-27)

There are so many times that we don't know or lead our families with love as we should, we don't care to know their condition, and instead get caught up in providing for them and not investing in them. This is something of the utmost importance because investing in them is a real, tangible communication of the love of Christ to them. That in our love and leadership to them, they will have a real analogy of Christ's love and leadership. That when put into practice the family becomes a community that reflects the church, a community of love centered on Jesus.
The Proverbs section also indicates an important truth, and that is the result of leading and investing in them. That just as caring for your flocks provided for a good family existence (clothing, food - the essence or core of the family) that caring, loving, and leading your family provides a good and joyous family experience. Practically, that could mean sacrificing an evening with the guys to watch a Jane Austen adaptation, helping her with chores around the house, cuddling up with the wife for some quality time, playing with the daughter, or even posting a blog while watching a good 'ol post-apocalyptic zombie/vampie movie.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Josie!

2008-03-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that after tears shed from every member of the family for seemingly endless nights of crying and feeds, Josie is finally sleeping through the night : ) To those of you have come to know our little Josie over the course of her 6 months of life, you will know that she has been a challenge to say the least. I like to say she has a sparky (and highly particular) personality. She knows what she wants and when she wants it.

It started about 2 weeks after she was born. Fussing and crying incessantly for 2-4 hours in the evening, unable to be soothed unless she was being driven around the Snoqualmie Valley (which was a blessed time for Greg and I to talk about the day in quiet). We found that swaddling helped a great deal, but there seemed to be no way to prevent the evening terror episodes...that is until we stumbled across a parenting forum on our church's website that dealt with colic and strategies to help relieve it. At 6 weeks of age she was "cured": we moved her to her own bedroom and crib and put her down at 7:30 pm, in a tight, double-blanket swaddle. However, it wasn't until last week that our little Josie (5 1/2 months old) slept through the night. For months Greg and I have gotten up every 3-4 hours to soothe or feed our little angel. We praised God when he gave us a blessed 5 hour break! The true help arrived in the form of a book, one that came highly recommended by several friends. Although it's a little technical at times, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. is a great source for information on how to prevent and fix sleep problems in infants and children. More importantly it helps the parent understand why sleep is so important.
Josie is still very particular. She really only has one cry...maybe two...that tells us she's unhappy. It's a little over-dramatic, she only gives me a 10-20 second fuss before it's an all-out scream in "pain" from hunger or wet diaper. Once I've figured out (and corrected) the problem, she's full of precious giggles and grins.
So what I have learned from this sleepless situation besides the importance of an early bedtime? I've learned to pray for my daughter. This experience has helped me value the prayer of a parent. There are times, and certainly will be times in the future, that I am unable to give my daughter what she needs. I will be unable to soothe her and comfort her to the extent that she needs. It is at these times that she and I must lean on Christ for comfort, knowing that only He provides ultimate peace and comfort. Hopefully, we will both grow in our faith enough to not only call on Him in desperation, but throughout each day for every situation we are in. I am learning to pray for her every night when she goes to bed (sometimes with selfish motives that she will sleep for mom and dad), but mostly for her comfort, well-being, and most importantly, her faith in Christ.

Will eat squash for smiles...please, no peas

2008-03-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

Greg and I started Josie on solid foods 6 weeks ago, when she turned 4 months old. She loved the rice cereal right from the start (we've posted some pictures of the first experience). She did well for a few weeks until we started green veggies. The green beans were tolerable, but once I gave her peas she started a "strike" against solid foods, protesting anything that came from a spoon. This was certainly frustrating to say the least. We tried the airplane trick, the funny faces, the noises...nothing seemed to help. Grandma attempted to give her a bite followed by a quick mouthful of binky, which seemed to work, but Josie caught on to that trick. Needless to say, after weeks of protesting, her and I came to agreement tonight! She just needed a little squash...actually a lot of squash! I'd say 90% of the bowl went in her tummy, 6% on her bib, 2% on her hands, 1% on the highchair straps, 0.5% on her sleeve, 0.25% on her forehead, and 0.25% on her nose.
So what I have learned from this experience? I've learned that children can be stubborn and particular in doing things according to their own timing and under their own circumstances, despite the loving motivations of their parents to follow the "healthy" path of green veggies. Reflecting on my own life, I realize I am no different towards my Father. Sure as a baby I probably acted like that towards my dad, but I never changed (although I do like green veggies now). As an adult, I'm still as a stubborn now towards my Heavenly Father. I realize that I still want to try to time and plan my life according to my own will, despite having realized time and time again that Christ knows my life and future. He has planned it out perfectly long before I was born according to his perfect will. Who am I to argue with his perfect will? It takes faith and trust to be reassured that I am safe in my Father's arms, and I am ever thankful for those gracious gifts. Like Josie I accept the blessings of "squash" openly and readily. In the future I hope to act like this with all things that come my way...even the green veggies.

Purpose of table talk

2008-03-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

What is table talk? With the help of Dictionary.com...

Table talk [tā-bəl to'k]

–noun

1.	informal conversation at meals.

2.	a subject that is considered appropriate for conversation at meals.

We have decided to start a blog to keep our family and friends updated on our lives and the many transitions the Joines' family is going through. Table talk is a suitable title for our blog, since we want to keep it as personal, open, and comfortable as possible. Unfortunately, we aren't able to meet with everyone over an occasional meal to share our lives with one another, so this just seems like the next best thing without food : ) Please check back regularly as we will keep you updated with Josie's newest tricks, life changes, and the lessons God is teaching us.

a little more background...

2008-03-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

Dolly was born and raised in California, and moved to North Bend, Washington when she was 14. Greg has lived in Western Washington for most of his life. After joining the Army Reserves in 2002 he spent one year in Kuwait. We spent the first 5 years of marriage living in and around Seattle, WA. Currently, our family resides in Charlotte, NC.

Where we met: We met in high school, specifically Ms. Lighty's math class. Dolly was 15, Greg was 16. We knew after 3 weeks of dating that we would be married someday.

Where we've been: We got married in 2004, half-way through Greg's deployment to Kuwait. We finished getting our college degrees in 2006. Dolly went to Seattle University and graduated with a bachelors in nursing. Greg received his bachelors in biblical studies through Moody Bible Institute. In Sept 2007 he began his pursuit for a Masters of Theological Studies from Northwest Theological Seminary. We became parents to our first daughter, Josephine (Josie) Leigh, on Oct. 4, 2007. Our second daughter, Maribelle Mae, was born July 16, 2009. In August 2009 we stepped out in faith and relocated to Charlotte, NC, away from our family, friends, and church.

Where we are: We are living in Charlotte, NC while Greg attends Reformed Theological Seminary full-time. Dolly is working full-time as a pediatric nurse. We also are full-time parents on the side : ) Josie is actively growing and changing faster than we all could have imagined. She is almost two years old! She is a big talker, she loves Elmo and Winnie the Pooh, and is already praying at night to "Jeezees". Belle is a good-natured baby who sleeps through the night and has the most adorable crooked smile. We'll keep updating!

Where we're going: After years of wondering if God was calling us outside of Washington, he finally led us across the US to Charlotte. We had planned this move several years ago, but waited for his timing. Greg will finish his Master of Divinity at RTS and hopes to plant/replant a church here in North Carolina. For a short time, Dolly will work full-time as Greg completes school. She then plans on homeschooling both Josie and Belle if it is found to be a suitable training method for their personalities.