Confessions from a Stagnant Christian
So it's been awhile since we blogged, but I finally have a topic I'd like to share with my friends and family. It involves some completely honest testimony, open confession, and the joyful revelation that our Lord in heaven showed to me today.
To begin, I will share a brief testimony of my salvation...since the revelation He revealed to me won't mean the same without hearing about my life as a Christian.
I was saved at the age of 15 as a sophomore in high school. I was lead to Christ by the man who is now my husband (and my co-blogger), Greg. I attended youth group, and it finally hit me after a few months that God had destined me to know him and to receive his gift of grace, the salvation of my sins by the death of his wonderful Son, Jesus Christ. It seemed so clear to me at that point that he had been calling me all along. I can still recall the "seeds" of faith he had planted throughout my childhood. It is beautiful and comforting to know he was with me in every memory: the joys, the sorrows, the pain, the blessed times, everything. So for the past 7 or 8 years I have had a roller-coaster of growth. Greg (paraphrasing from Powlison who paraphrased from Calvin) describes believers in this way "some people grow in leaps and bounds like gazelles, others dredge by their fingernails...". At first I was a gazelle...thirsting for wisdom and knowledge that revealed and glorified him. But I quickly believed the lie that "Christianity is hard", I believe this is what resulted in my depressed spiritual state. This whole time my 
relationship with our Triune God has been like grasping for weeds to hold on to as I climb a steep mountain that I can't even see the top of! Every now and then it would be marked by "spiritual highs" that lasted a few weeks or months. I realize now that I am actually the slower grower, maybe like a sloth climbing a tree or something, rather than a gazelle leaping around.
So that's where I've been. Saved, but not truly experiencing the joy that Christ has given me in himself. What happened to the faith that should have been like all those Max Lucado books? Christianity sometimes has this appearance that everything should just "click" right away. You walk into a Christian book store and are often overwhelmed by fluffy Christianity (no offense to those who like Lucado, but that is who first comes to mind) or how-to books that are actually mainstream psychology with a flavoring of Christianity placed between the lines. There is a general lie that is believed by most that "Christianity is hard", but instead of understanding this statement as a lie, people cover up their "inadequacies and failures" with smiles.
Now to the confession. I have failed to recognize that I have a new identity in Christ. I was surrounded by lies that I was filled with inadequacies and fears that prevented me from growing in relationship with him and those around me. This sounds so simple, but it's not fully recognized by people who say "Christianity is hard". Every time someone says it is hard, it seems to say "It's hard to be everything a Christian should be...it's hard to hold to what Scripture says". It doesn't seem like a lie at first, but it is. That's because when you say that, you're assuming that by your own power you could make it easier. That is completely false. We will ALWAYS fail if left up to our own futile power. So yes, it's hard if you assume you could fix the problem. I personally liked to plead in my prayers "I try Lord, but I can't seem to serve you or my husband....what am I doing wrong?" What I was doing wrong was "trying". I failed to recognize that he was and is my power source in everything. Ultimately, the foundational problem was that I failed to recognize the new identity that I possessed when I first acknowledged Christ as my savior.
Some of you might say right now..."wow that's a basic Christian truth she never really got." But that's the thing...I did get it. But obviously I was holding on to lies that prevented me from understanding and experiencing the joy and freedom that accompanied this truth. As a new creation (2 Cor 5.17), possessing a new identity, there should be freedom . We are no longer slaves to sin (Rom 6.6), our "sinful nature" no longer dwells within us, we don't need to try to make Christianity easy.
Now to the revelation...I am raised up. Since having a new identity in Christ, I am a new creation, "raised up with him (Eph 2:6)". I assumed that I still have a sinful nature, the sole inclination to sin, which presumes that I remained under the captivity of sin as a slave. But the language of Scripture does not say that. It says that we are new creations, filled with the Spirit (Eph 1.13) which was graciously given to us as a gift (Eph 1.13-14)...if that is true, we could not possess sinful natures, because we could not walk in darkness and in light (cf. John 12.42, John 8.12, and 1 John 1.5-7). Sinful natures and the Spirit could not dwell in the same person (Gal 5.17)! Although we as Christians obviously have the capability to sin and are definitely still prone to sin, we can have confidence in Christ who rescued us from being a slave to it and from the effects of our past, present and future sins (1 John 2.1).
Ephesians 2 1-10, has been a revolutionary passage for me. I believe the Lord has blessed me by answering my prayers to know what "having an identity in Christ" actually referred to. We are new creations because of our union with Christ; our identity is no longer a sin nature, we are now identified with Christ, thus possessing an identity in him. There is a freedom and joy in truly understanding what it means to be a new creation (2 Cor 3.17). Everything does change. We aren't the same sinful nature person who has God in the back corner of our life looking down once in awhile. He is ever present and we are ever connected to him (Col 3.3). Initially when Greg asked me what I thought having an identity in Christ meant, I first described it as being saturated with Christ. Greg corrected me by saying that "we aren't saturated. That assumes that we had something added to the same person. But the Bible states that person was dead in sin, and we are alive in Christ" (Eph 2, Rom. 6). Instead we are raised up (Col 3.1), yes we are filled, but that is because we are raised as new creations (2 Cor 5.17) seated with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:6).
So my next post will be shorter. It'll be of the chiastic structure of Eph 2, which helped lead to this revelation. I'll ask if Greg could post on what chiastic structures are for they are not commonly known, but I have found them quite helpful :)
Praise be to God for revealing himself! I am so thankful that 8 years ago he revealed that I am saved from sin, and has now let me experience that fully by saving me from the lies that I believed.
relationship with our Triune God has been like grasping for weeds to hold on to as I climb a steep mountain that I can't even see the top of! Every now and then it would be marked by "spiritual highs" that lasted a few weeks or months. I realize now that I am actually the slower grower, maybe like a sloth climbing a tree or something, rather than a gazelle leaping around.So that's where I've been. Saved, but not truly experiencing the joy that Christ has given me in himself. What happened to the faith that should have been like all those Max Lucado books? Christianity sometimes has this appearance that everything should just "click" right away. You walk into a Christian book store and are often overwhelmed by fluffy Christianity (no offense to those who like Lucado, but that is who first comes to mind) or how-to books that are actually mainstream psychology with a flavoring of Christianity placed between the lines. There is a general lie that is believed by most that "Christianity is hard", but instead of understanding this statement as a lie, people cover up their "inadequacies and failures" with smiles.
Now to the confession. I have failed to recognize that I have a new identity in Christ. I was surrounded by lies that I was filled with inadequacies and fears that prevented me from growing in relationship with him and those around me. This sounds so simple, but it's not fully recognized by people who say "Christianity is hard". Every time someone says it is hard, it seems to say "It's hard to be everything a Christian should be...it's hard to hold to what Scripture says". It doesn't seem like a lie at first, but it is. That's because when you say that, you're assuming that by your own power you could make it easier. That is completely false. We will ALWAYS fail if left up to our own futile power. So yes, it's hard if you assume you could fix the problem. I personally liked to plead in my prayers "I try Lord, but I can't seem to serve you or my husband....what am I doing wrong?" What I was doing wrong was "trying". I failed to recognize that he was and is my power source in everything. Ultimately, the foundational problem was that I failed to recognize the new identity that I possessed when I first acknowledged Christ as my savior.
Some of you might say right now..."wow that's a basic Christian truth she never really got." But that's the thing...I did get it. But obviously I was holding on to lies that prevented me from understanding and experiencing the joy and freedom that accompanied this truth. As a new creation (2 Cor 5.17), possessing a new identity, there should be freedom . We are no longer slaves to sin (Rom 6.6), our "sinful nature" no longer dwells within us, we don't need to try to make Christianity easy.
Now to the revelation...I am raised up. Since having a new identity in Christ, I am a new creation, "raised up with him (Eph 2:6)". I assumed that I still have a sinful nature, the sole inclination to sin, which presumes that I remained under the captivity of sin as a slave. But the language of Scripture does not say that. It says that we are new creations, filled with the Spirit (Eph 1.13) which was graciously given to us as a gift (Eph 1.13-14)...if that is true, we could not possess sinful natures, because we could not walk in darkness and in light (cf. John 12.42, John 8.12, and 1 John 1.5-7). Sinful natures and the Spirit could not dwell in the same person (Gal 5.17)! Although we as Christians obviously have the capability to sin and are definitely still prone to sin, we can have confidence in Christ who rescued us from being a slave to it and from the effects of our past, present and future sins (1 John 2.1).
Ephesians 2 1-10, has been a revolutionary passage for me. I believe the Lord has blessed me by answering my prayers to know what "having an identity in Christ" actually referred to. We are new creations because of our union with Christ; our identity is no longer a sin nature, we are now identified with Christ, thus possessing an identity in him. There is a freedom and joy in truly understanding what it means to be a new creation (2 Cor 3.17). Everything does change. We aren't the same sinful nature person who has God in the back corner of our life looking down once in awhile. He is ever present and we are ever connected to him (Col 3.3). Initially when Greg asked me what I thought having an identity in Christ meant, I first described it as being saturated with Christ. Greg corrected me by saying that "we aren't saturated. That assumes that we had something added to the same person. But the Bible states that person was dead in sin, and we are alive in Christ" (Eph 2, Rom. 6). Instead we are raised up (Col 3.1), yes we are filled, but that is because we are raised as new creations (2 Cor 5.17) seated with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:6).
So my next post will be shorter. It'll be of the chiastic structure of Eph 2, which helped lead to this revelation. I'll ask if Greg could post on what chiastic structures are for they are not commonly known, but I have found them quite helpful :)
Praise be to God for revealing himself! I am so thankful that 8 years ago he revealed that I am saved from sin, and has now let me experience that fully by saving me from the lies that I believed.
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