honest rebellion

The day, the hour, the minute arrived unexpectedly. She awoke with a declaration: quiet, but booming within her. Something about potty, bathroom, and diaper sandwiched among an assortment of words spoken to quickly and slurred to be understood, even by her mother. She'd spoken them before, but her words were overshadowed by a parent's, to be precise, my preoccupations.

This morning was different. There was something...sure, confident, bittersweet. Memories yet to be had, yet to be missed. I envision years down the road. A young girl with helmet in hand, open asphalt, pursuing an open horizon, firmly grasped to the handles of a new bike. A soon-to-be teenager boldly requesting privacy as she talks fashion and movies excitedly with her best friend. Or the days of learning permits, shaking hands, and an occasional nervous jerk of the wheel. This morning was different.

She had clear intentions, or as much as can be built up in the mind of a toddler. She had a glow of determination, so I thought, gleaming from her curious and inquisitive stare, anxiously awaiting her mother's response and approval. Well it certainly wasn't jotted down in my planner; life is too hectic for potty training. But I guess the inevitable chases us down. An array of articles, parenting manuals, and noisy women all swirling in my head, telling me what to do. The pediatric nurse in me questioning her physical readiness: urinary retention, muscle, and nerve sensations.

A million thoughts and a quick second later, "Let's go to the potty!"

I reflect back, a mere 48 hours later. Frustrated just a little, tired beyond description, analyzing pointlessly. A mother letting out sighs filled with too many emotions to list.

A milestone, surely a monumental feat in the life of an Elmo-loving child. Not even the squeaky voice exiting the furry creature can persuade her to complete what we set out to do. A porcelain white throne, a stubborn princess. Admittedly, it must truly be a challenging and arduous task. Cold, hard glass-like substance against the back of her legs. Stage fright, also a new quest to conquer. Mom and dad cheering, clapping, dancing the potty dance annoyingly. Too much too soon, I guess.

She is sensitive, careful, shy. Lovely attributes for a lovely child. I am not ashamed; I smile proudly, but quietly I applaud her valiant efforts. I am encouraged by her initiative, but she teaches her perfectionist mother so much more. When to stop, when to say "no, I'm not quite ready", when to know your limits. At the end of the day, she shook her head, not out of rebellion, not for control, but in honesty to her self. And I wholeheartedly believe her.

A mother smiles contently; another day, another hour, another moment when my little girl never ceases to amaze.

Third Time with Santa

The first year was a breeze. Josie was a couple months old and slept through the whole thing. Last year wasn't as good, Boompa dressed up as Santa and Josie wasn't a huge fan.

This year we showed up right as Santa was leaving for dinner. So we made a quick detour to Toys R Us and returned to a lengthy line. The next hour and a half went very well. We snacked on Chik-fil-A, gave Belle a bottle, and watched the kid in front of us hit the girl behind us. When we got to the front of the line, one of the elves performed some simple illusions and then it was our turn. Things started off good with a high five to the big guy. Then things went south when Josie realized she would have to sit with the big, bearded man. Even with Mama, Josie wasn't having it. Finally, after a surprise Elmo appearance, things calmed down. The people were nice enough to allow us to have both pictures.

Sprinkled in Presbyterianism

*The original title was "Immersed in Presbyterianism," but since Presbyterians don't immerse-they sprinkle, I decided to change it*

We have been in Charlotte for a couple months now and the transition has been much more difficult than we thought. It took us longer for Dolly to find work than we thought, we didn't end up at the church we initially thought we would, and our best friends are moving back to their hometown. However, in the midst of all of this transition, frustration, tears, and hardship we have experienced such an overwhelming amount of love and support from family, friends, and our church. So here is a little update à la Presbyterianism ;)

School

As all, well the two of you who read this blog, know I am attending Reformed Theological Seminary. Although RTS is a non-denominational seminary, it is dedicated to training current and future leaders (especially in its Presbyterian and Reformed branches) to be pastors, missionaries, educators, and Christian counselors. All of my professors are affiliated with a presbyterian denomination. The environment is thoroughly academic, practical, and pastoral. I definitely think this will help cultivate me to become a competent minister of the Gospel. Overall, school is going very well. Although demanding, it isn't detracting from my family and marriage but I am still maintaining very good grades. I usually do all my studying and reading in the living room/dining room (its the same room) to intentionally be interrupted by my cute, curly-haired girls, they are all so cute and I love being interrupted by them.

Church

In addition to learning about Presbyterianism, we just (yesterday) became members at Grace Community Church, a Presbyterian Church located in South Charlotte. It doesn't have the characteristics of most traditional Presbyterian Churches. It meets in a high school, has more "contemporary" worship (which we don't care too much for, we prefer the crusty 'ol hymns), has amazing preaching, and has more vitality than a some of the other Presbyterian churches we visited. We have meet so many great families who have invited us over for Sunday brunch, who have had playdates with our girls, and have made us feel at home and like family at the church. Although we miss our families so much, Grace has made the transition even easier. Now that we are members at Grace, we plan on getting our girls baptized soon (most of the church's we have been a part of have never practiced infant baptism, but Presbyterians do). In addition, one of the Pastor's owns a really nice town-home in Blakeney Greens, which we will be renting until I have completed my schooling. We look forward to living somewhere again where we can walk to get all of our errands done.

Work

Dolly got two part-time jobs. So she will be working three nights a week when she is completed with orientation (which is currently full-time, but thankfully we are able to work it around my school schedule, and some students at RTS have helped us out when it does conflict). One of the jobs is at Carolina's Medical Center, and the other is at Presbyterian. They are both at the Children's Hospitals (Levine's and Hemby), which is an answer to prayer since Dolly has such a passion for providing care to the young'ens. So I will watch the girls in the morning/early afternoon when Dolly is sleeping and have been watching them in the day while Dolly is at orientation. I have found that changing diapers is a great cure for pride and compliments a seminary education well. I just learned these great theological truths, but I need to work on our circle/square/star/color flashcards with an adorable toddler after I change some diapers.

Although moving out here to Charlotte is difficult and looks nothing like we thought (e.g. Bugs that could probably take Josie away in her sleep), it has been an amazing blessing. It has provided such an amazing opportunity for us to connect as a family and experience God's grace and love through His church. To truly learn what it means to trust Him.

Additionally, Fall (my favorite season) has been absolutely gorgeous here. The trees are blazing orange, yellow, and red, while the weather has been awesome (a balmy, 70 degrees).

Finally, we would ask for your continued prayers. This has been the most difficult thing we have done in our family. We are learning what it means to be dependent upon God, to love our family, and trust Him daily.

Happy 2nd Birthday Josie!

Josies Second Year from Greg and Dolly on Vimeo.

Our daughter, Josephine Leigh, turned 2 years old on October 4th! My how these couple of years flew by! Please help celebrate her second year by spending 12 minutes to watch yet another Joines' family montage. Hope you all enjoy watching her (and her hair) grow up right before your eyes!

(sorry about the audio skipping. We're using Windows Movie Maker this year...and let's just say it's not up to par with IMovie)

Update - We have uploaded the video via vimeo...so hopefully now you can all enjoy it!

Hello Charlotte

I (Dolly) have officially been in Charlotte, NC for a month now, so I thought I'd finally post an update on how our family is doing here in the South.

The city of Charlotte is beautiful! It's been hot/humid, but bearable. The only traffic I've seen is on Sunday morning when every church is packed (and literally, there is a church on every street block...and they are big churches!) People are really friendly every where we go, and they are all obsessed with babies! Maribelle is always the topic of every conversation I encounter with a stranger. I've got to be careful though because strangers think they are allowed to touch my baby at any chance they get...flu season is right around the corner! The street system is insane here; the same stretch of road changes names 4 times in about 5 miles! It really is bizarre! Also, Greg and I got our first taste of American history by attending a Revolutionary War renactment. It was as exciting as it sounds. Josie was less impressed, except for the farm animals that were present for the ambiance.

Maribelle is 2 1/2 months old now, and she is such a good baby! She has the biggest crooked smile that brings tears to my eyes. She is so kind...she let's me sleep through the night! Josie will be 2 years old on October 4th. She is a good talker, and she loves to play outside in the parking lot next to our townhome (don't worry, it's always empty and at the end of the apartment complex). She swam for the first time, but is still not that adventurous in the water. However, she does like to point out and kill the bugs that get into the house. The bugs are terribly gross here! We saw a 2-inch long roach crawl across our stove one night! (We are clean people, apparently these ones aren't associated with filth...but I'm still cleaning/vacuuming every night just in case they are searching for crumbs). As Greg says, "the only good bug, is a dead bug"(Starship Troopers seems to have become our living guide to killing bugs).

Greg has been attending Reformed Theological Seminary for the past 4 weeks, and he is really enjoying it so far. Hebrew is a pretty tough language to learn apparently, so he seems to always have his flash cards where ever we go! He is thankful to finally be at the place where God has been leading him these past few years! Greg knows the education will be a good preparation to plant/replant a church here in the South. The girls and I are adjusting to his new schedule, but our family has definitely changed its routines a bit to accommodate for his studying time.

I have been applying for jobs since early July and have found this process to be very frustrating! As a pediatric nurse at one of the best children's hospitals in the US, I thought getting a job would be easy...but apparently it's not. The process has been long and difficult. I hope to find out some news by the end of the week on a job I applied/interviewed for at the large children's hospital here in Charlotte. The issue of work has been a challenging one for us, as it is forcing us to put aside our pride and humbly bow before God in complete dependence. We know he will provide for our family, because he promises to do so in his Word, but it is a scary place to be since we are running out of the extra money we came with. Sometimes the reality of our problems are more real than He is...and this has been a hard lesson to learn as it forces me to see how I lack faith or fail to practice the faith I say I have. I say I trust Him and his promises, but do I really if I react in anxiety, fear, and worry?

We have not found a church home yet. We aren't much into church shopping, so we tried to decide on a church while we were in Seattle, but you can only do so much research online, and then you have to experience the church for yourself. We may have found one, but are still praying for guidance as we decide. It has been difficult to adjust without a close church community to support and encourage us. We have been praying that the Lord leads us to the right community for us to be a part of.

One of the most difficult parts about moving here to Charlotte has been the distance we are from our families in North Bend. We miss our parents terribly and wish they could see their grandchildren as frequently as they were able to when we lived in Seattle. I keep showing Josie pictures of her grandparents to keep them fresh in her mind. I miss meeting my mom for lunch during the week when we would discuss food over eating food : )

So to be completely honest...this move is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. My heart is heavy and burdened by many changes, and I feel that the Lord is ripping me out of the stagnant state I was in for so long. I have learned more about my heart, idols, and sin in the past few weeks than I have in the past two years. More importantly, I have learned more about Him as I am being stripped of all of the things I trust in (jobs, security, savings, quality time with my husband, etc.) The Lord is definitely refining our hearts, probably preparing us for a difficult couple of years as Greg finishes his Masters while I work full-time...all the while we remain full-time parents! We pray for help as we prioritize our lives...because our marriage and children are never to be placed after seminary or work. We continue to pray for his guidance as we live our lives in light of his Word.

Please pray for our family as we struggle to trust in him during this difficult time of transition. Furthermore, please pray that we continue to live in joy and rest in our relationship with God, eachother, our children, and our community. We miss you all very much and await the time to visit you all again next year.

Goodbye Seattle

I moved to Seattle 10 years ago, almost to the date. In 10 years I have experienced several dramatic life changes: I came to know my Lord and Savior, got married, graduated from college, started my first job as a pediatric nurse, and had two wonderful baby girls! It's been a crazy time with tons of life lessons, but it has truly been a blessed time.

So here's the story for all who don't know. In February 2007, Greg and I planned to move to Charlotte, North Carolina so that he could receive his masters from Reformed Theological Seminary. We found out we were pregnant with Josie, and after much time in prayer, decided it was the Lord's will to have us wait. Over the past two years we thought that Mars Hill was home, but over the past six months, he made it clear to us that we were to finally make our trek to Charlotte. He has also refined his calling in Greg, and now we know that Greg is to church plant in a city filled with the "churched-unsaved" (those with a knowledge of the Bible, but not of a saving faith in Christ and the Gospel). And so after months of preparation (and organizing closets!), we now have a Budget truck in our apartment parking lot, ready to be loaded in the morning by some helpful men from the church. Greg leaves on Thursday morning for a cross-country journey of a lifetime! I leave via plane on August 19th with my 4 week old daughter strapped to me and a lively toddler holding my hand (thankfully, Grandma will be sharing the journey to offer another pair of hands).

We feel excited, scared, energized, overwhelmed...and any other emotion you can tie to the situation. We are experiencing several marriage stressors all at the same time: moving across country, adjusting to a second child, starting graduate school, finding a new church home and community, possibly buying a home by the end of the year, and starting new jobs. We'll be able to check quite a few boxes on our taxes in April : )

The Lord has shown himself to be faithful through this all. He has taught me what it means to have complete confidence in his sovereignty. I have numerous examples, but not enough time to list them all. I'll have to talk about them in a later post that describes this crazy adventure!

One of the major lessons Greg and I have learned in recent weeks is that of the love that is manifested in the body of Christ. Mars Hill Church has been our church home for 5 years, and we have definitely had our ups and downs, as with any relationship. However, a new side of the church has been revealed to us. We have had complete strangers reach out to us asking if they could provide a meal or childcare to help us pack. We have had an entire community group bless us with a generous and astonishing financial gift. We have seen people sacrifice their time and money to bless our family and to affirm our calling to church plant in one of the most churched areas of our country to reach those who are unsaved. I can't fully explain how overwhelmed we are at the kindness that has been extended to our family. We are convicted over how we have missed opportunities to grow closer in relationship to those around us, I especially, have distanced myself by choosing not to take advantage of the opportunities of friendship that have been given to me. We also would not naturally reach out to strangers unless it was conveniently placed in front of us. As future church planters, these are crucial lessons the Lord needed to teach us, and he chose to do so through a cross-country move that placed our family in an overwhelming situation. We are truly thankful for his blessings upon our family, and how he revealed himself through his church on numerous occasions. I could write forever describing these recent experiences, and I know I am not truly giving justice to the way I feel right now. I hope to expound later, but for now we must go to bed to prepare for a long and exciting day ahead! Please continue to pray for our family as we venture out, that we would be looking to Christ for guidance, that we would let his glory be the motivating factor for all we do, and that we would take this experience and spread the Gospel through it. We love you all and will miss Seattle dearly. Thank you.

Belle's First Two Weeks

Our little Maribelle was born two weeks ago, so I thought I'd give everyone an update on how life has been for our family of four. After a busy few days of introducing her to family, we returned home to a busy week of packing for our cross-country move! However, we have received many blessings in the form of dinners, and I could not be more thankful for our church community! Complete strangers have emailed and called asking how they can be of service to our family! Mars Hill has some of the kindest women I have ever met! The grace and love of Christ is truly being revealed through this kindness and acts of service.

As far as parenting goes...Belle has been an "easy" baby so far, and Josie is adjusting well to having a little sister. I feel fully recovered from the pregnancy, even having a "post-nesting" period full of adrenaline as I pack and organize to move to North Carolina in 2 weeks. Belle is sleeping great and is requiring me to wake her up at night to feed! Right now she is sleeping four hour long stretches at night! Josie is sometimes too helpful (i.e. trying to give her sister juice through a sippy cup), but she giggles and squeals in response to Belle's hiccups and burps. She is a little weirded out at me breastfeeding, but it is getting better. She has a hard time understanding that I can't move around while I'm breastfeeding, but who knows maybe I can master that skill soon : ) Greg is beyond supportive during all of this change. He helps me with the girls in the morning in case I need to sleep in a little. He's also helping with cloth diaper changes! I couldn't be more thankful to my husband during this time. He understands his role of husband and loves me very well.

So above all, I'm thankful for the Lord who is continuing to teach me more about his love and grace and how he proves time and time again that he is ever sufficient and providential. Having a newborn and making the biggest move of my life all at the same time may seem overwhelming (and it is!), but he has made everything work out well. I'm learning how to have faith in a stressful time, and I've also discovered I have made an idol of the future by worrying about everything. Oh how he teaches me more and more about my heart through every daily experience. I'll keep everyone updated as the move gets closer. For now, please enjoy some pictures of our Belle!